Page 37 of Because of You
Not really, thanks to your son winding me up and then leaving me with a kiss on the cheek and a casual goodnight and I’m really glad I packed my vibrator charger because otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten any sleep at all. I can’t say that to her, obviously, so I settle on, “I always sleep well here,” which is usually true.
I walk over and kiss her on the cheek and then go straight to the coffee pot, reaching into the cabinet above for a glass cup to pour coffee in and stick in the freezer for a while so I can make iced coffee.
“Oh, your coffee is in the fridge, Hallie,” Rachel says as she rummages through a drawer for a frying pan.
“What coffee?”
“Ben said to tell you that he made coffee yesterday and put it in the fridge for you so it would be cold by morning. Oh, and there’s milk already in it. He said you would want iced coffee but don’t like cold brew and wouldn’t want to make it with instant. He got Splenda for you on his way up here too. Should be on the top shelf of the cabinet by the fridge.”
Seriously?
I open the fridge and right in front of me is a tumbler bearing a sticky note that reads “Hallie, Caffeinate yourself.” Then I open the cabinet next to the fridge and see the box of Splenda packets. I just stand there, frozen in place. I’ve been thinking about iced coffee with milk and one Splenda since I opened my eyes this morning, but he made this coffee yesterday. Is he magic?
“Hallie?”
I whip around, coffee in one hand and a Splenda packet in the other, wondering how long I’ve been standing thereconsidering whether Ben is actually a wizard. I have no clue what my face is doing, but whatever it is, it makes Rachel grin at me before nudging me aside to get the eggs she has obviously been waiting to take out of the fridge.
“Looks like our Ben knows just what you like,” she says, cracking eggs into a bowl.
“No shit,” I mutter under my breath, more than a little thrown off and not nearly caffeinated enough to make sense of this.
She just laughs and takes the coffee and sugar packet out of my hands, opening the top of the tumbler to add the ice and Splenda herself. She pops in a straw and hands it back to me, kissing me on the head and going back to her breakfast prep.
“So, how are things going at the firm? I know it hasn’t been that long since you closed on the house, but you girls must be so excited to be finally hitting the ground running. Jules has been keeping me updated, but I haven’t had a chance to talk to you about it.”
Oh, hello anxiety, my old friend, it’s fucking terrible to see you again.
Between the gala and the weirdness with Ben, I’ve been able to shove all my angst over the firm and what to do about it to the far recesses of my brain. But with Rachel’s question, it all comes roaring back. My stomach tightens, and my shoulders tense up as I consider what to say. I must pause a little too long because Rachel is looking at me with concern.
“Everything okay with the firm, Hallie?”
“Oh, yeah, it’s fine. Everything is okay. It’s just been a lot these past couple of weeks.”
She gives me an unimpressed look.
“That’s an evasion if I ever heard one.” Turns out Rachel did not earn the title of Best Mom Ever by being stupid.
“It has been a lot. Really. For me especially.”
“I’m not going to pry even though I’m dying to, because it’s our first morning here and that’s always been a special time for you and me. But you know you can talk to me about anything, right? I might not have given birth to you, but you’re mine just as much as Julie is.”
“Thanks, Rachel,” I say, filled with gratitude for her and this quiet morning.
She squeezes my hand. “Okay then. Let’s get to it. I’m putting the eggs on now. Will you go wake up Ben? He made me promise not to let him sleep through breakfast this year.”
Ever the night owl and extremely not a morning person, Ben sleeps through first morning breakfast more than he makes it. Knowing it pisses him off to miss cinnamon buns, and maybe just a tiny bit eager to see him this morning, I grab my coffee and pad over to his room.
I knock on his door and wait, but there’s no answer. I don’t hear any movement from inside either. Knowing he’s probably still fast asleep, I yell his name, knock one more time, and walk in, expecting to have to haul him out of bed. His bed is empty. The sheets and blankets are rumpled and twisted, and it gives me a rush of satisfaction to think that maybe he spent the night tossing and turning just like I did. That thought is barely through my head when the ensuite bathroom door opens and Ben comes out in a cloud of steam.
I never quite understood the phrase “rooted to the spot,” but suddenly, I do. I should turn around and leave, but I can’t get a signal from my brain to my feet to get them moving. Ben is rubbing a towel over his wet hair, and he is naked except for a white towel wrapped low around his waist. He’s covered in water droplets, and I follow their path with my eyes as they roll from his chest, down his muscled abs, following the light dusting of hair that disappears into his towel. I don’t know if it’s the towel, or the fact that he’s mostly naked and dripping wet. Or becausehis hair is a wild mess from the towel. Maybe it’s that I haven’t had enough coffee and this is basically a scene ripped straight out of one of my books, but everything Ben has going on right now is really…doing it for me. God.
“My eyes are up here, Hallie.”
I snap my eyes up to meet his. Whatever I’m feeling must be written all over my face because the smirk on Ben’s face disappears. His gaze that was playful a second ago changes and turns darker as he takes me in. Our eyes are glued together, and his are intense in a way that makes me itchy and needy and so damn aware of Ben and his body and the woodsy scent of his body wash. Without even realizing what I’m doing, I take a step forward. He holds a hand out to stop me.
“Not yet,” he says in a low voice.
That wakes me right up. “Not yet what?”
