Page 137 of Ink and Ashes
“You do know me well,” I tease, pulling her up once I reach her. Standing on top of the truck, I grasp her face in my hands then lean down to press a kiss to her lips, appreciating the way her body so quickly opens up for me.
“I know you the best,” she says, pulling away from the kiss. Then she glances over at the blanket I laid out under the dark night sky.
This has become our spot since we got together. After everything that happened the summer Holland first arrived in Ember Grove, I spent a long time talking to my therapist again, trying to figure out the best way to cope with it all. Between one of our own being killed, to finding out our fire chief was one of the worst arsonists this country has ever seen, to Holland nearly dying at his hand too, there was a lot to deal with. It got to be too much for me, and I spent weeks blaming myself for it until Holland suggested I talk to Dr. Talbot. I did, and he suggested Ifind a space where I felt at peace, where I could shut off my brain and just breathe for a little while.
So I started staying late some nights and pulling the engine out of the bay, laying on its roof to look at the stars. Staring at the vast sky above helped remind me that there was nothing I could’ve done to stop any of that from happening.
For the first little while, I didn’t tell anyone about this space—not even Holland. It was mine—the one place I could go when everything got to be too much. No one else was ever here when I did it, and Holland just assumed I was staying late to learn the ins and outs of finally being chief. And there wasa lotI had to do to clean up the mess Whitlock/Welland left behind, so she wasn’t completely wrong.
But one night she came by looking for me, and that’s when she found me up here. I told her everything, and ever since then, she’s started coming by every night I stay late to come up here with me.
Which helped me realize that being with her brings me all the peace I need.
“I missed you today,” I tell her.
She lets out a breath, placing her hand on her stomach. Then she says four words that shock me to my core.
Actually, it’s not the four words that shock me. It’s one.
The first.
“We missed you too.”
My brows pull together as understanding dawns on me, and I glance down at her stomach before meeting her eyes again.
“We?”
She smiles, her eyes growing watery. “Yeah, baby. We.”
My throat tightens. “You’re pregnant?”
Her smile grows wider as the first tear slips past her waterline. “We’repregnant.”
Hearing those words sends a wave of euphoria over me. I immediately cup her face in my hands and slam my lips against hers, breathing her in. Her fingers grip my shirt tightly as the two of us stand on top of the fire engine roof pressed against each other, never letting anything come between us.
Holland and I have had plenty of difficulties in the past two years, but moments like this make every single bit of our journeyworth it.
This fire engine roof has become our sanctuary—the place where we come for anything and everything. It’s where we come to argue, to talk, to have all our big moments in life, and many small ones too.
This is the place where I proposed to her six months ago. And now it’s the place where I found out I’m going to be a dad too.
After Ellie’s death seven years ago, I never thought I’d fall in love again, let alone have children someday. But Holland has helped show me that anything is possible, and knowing that all my dreams of having a family of my own are actually coming true after years of convincing myself they never would…
That’s a feeling unlike any other. And I owe it all to the woman on top of me.
I pull away from the kiss to say, “I love you so fucking much, Red.”
“I love you too, Chief,” she says, smiling down at me.
I lead her over to the blanket I set up, sitting down and pulling her beside me. She relaxes into me, resting her head against my chest as we lie back, staring up at the stars above.
She rests her left hand on my chest, her engagement ring glinting in the moonlight, and I let out a content sigh as I place my hand on her stomach.
“How are my girls?”
“I guess that answers the question of what you hope it’ll be.” Holland huffs a laugh. “If it turns out to be a boy, it’s gonna be mad at you.”
I shake my head with a smile. “Better than referring to our child as ‘it,’” I tease, pressing my lips to the top of her head.
