Page 126 of Starstruck
He’sjust like our father. ButIrefuse to be.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Logan,” I start, keeping my back turned toward him. “You may be like Dad, but I will never be him.”
I don’t look back as I shove open the door, leaving the world I grew up in behind me.
For good.
[57 ]
SHOW YOU EVERYTHING
LENNON
Present Day
August
“WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN” BY CREED
Iwipe the tears from my eyes as Baxter finishes recalling the day of his father’s trial almost eleven years ago.
My heart aches for him. He was still so young, and suddenly, he had no family left. At least when my parents died, I still had my siblings, even if I kept them at a distance.
Baxter had no one.
“He pled not guilty?” I ask, my voice cracking.
All he does is nod.
Fuck. Then he watched Logan do the same. I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for him.
“I’m so, so sorry,” I tell him softly, unsure of what else to say.
Iamsorry. No one should ever have to face what he’s faced, andno oneshould have to do it alone.
“Did your father get out on parole?”
He shakes his head. “No. Four years in, he got into an altercation with some other prisoners and stabbed one of them with a homemade shank. The other guy died, and my father’s sentence was extended to twenty years. No chance for parole.”
I exhale a shaky breath, nodding.
If nothing else, at least his father is still being punished for his crimes. And now his brother is stuck there, too.
“Good.”
He jerks his head in a nod, looking to the floor. He takes my hand in his as he looks up at me, his eyes watery.
“I cut Logan off that day, Lennon. I was already going by ‘James’ as my stage last name, so I changed it legally to separate myself from them. I was still new, and it’s not like my family was famous for anything, so it was easy to sweep my past under the rug. No one knew except for those who had to.”
I nod. It explains why the news of his connection to Logan was such a shock to everyone.
It’s clear that his trauma from losing his mother so suddenly and then the events of that day are things he’s never dealt with. It’s something he’s kept hidden from the world for so long, and therefore something he hasn’t known how to confront.
Maybe he should’ve known better. Maybe he should’ve gone to therapy to deal with the aftermath of everything. Maybe he should’ve opened up to someone sooner and learned how to share parts of himself he’s never let the world see.
But I can’t fault him for not doing so. At twenty years old, with no one but a bunch of strangers cheering him on, why would he have thought he didn’t have things under control? If I were in his shoes, I’m sure I would’ve felt the same.
You think you can do it all when you’re that age. And even when you do have people in your ear telling you what you should or shouldn’t do, you’re unlikely to listen. I know that from experience. So it’s not surprising that Baxter kept this part of himself hidden from the world that took him in when he had nothing else left.
