Page 113 of Starstruck
My cheeks flush as I shake my head. “That was…well, I’m not sure what it was. But it’s over now.”
Nathan’s face falls. “I’m sorry to hear that, Lens,” he says, and I just nod slightly with a shrug. Getting the sense I don’t want to talk about Baxter, he adds, “By the way, we made a donation on GoFundMe. I know you said we didn’t have to pay, but seeing as it’s for such a good cause and to honour your incredible parents, it felt wrong not to.”
I smile. “Thank you both. It means a lot to me that you’re here.” I give them each one more hug before we say our goodbyes and they head toward the VIP tent.
Paige, Trevor, and I continue to watch the entirety of LINCOLN’s performance from the side of the stage, giving him a high-five as he approaches us when he’s done. I head onstage to introduce the next act, Hear the Echoes, before excusing myself, telling Paige and Trevor that I’ll be right back.
I pull out my phone as I walk toward the front entrance to pick up the towels I had delivered for Baxter and the guys. Despite everything, I’ve still made sure to check off every item on his rider—aside from the puppies and kittens andme, for obvious reasons—because it would’ve been unprofessional not to.
I know, realistically speaking, he meant the entire thing as a joke. But that hasn’t stopped me from ensuring that he has everything he needs for his pre-show routine. I’ve been around enough artists in my life to know they’re a real thing, and I don’t need anything jinxing how successful this day has been.
Especiallynot Baxter.
I grab the towels from the delivery guy—still crazy to me that you can gettowelsdelivered, but it worked out well for me—and make my way behind the stage to Baxter’s trailer.
It’s not even two thirty, so I don’t expect him to be here yet, seeing as he doesn’t go on until eight thirty. But when I open the door and find three sets of eyes trained on me, I realize just how mistaken I was in thinking that.
“Shit.”
[51 ]
LET YOU WALK AWAY
BAXTER
“ASHES AND WINE” BY A FINE FRENZY
Trouble
I don’t hate you, Baxter. That’s the problem. I wish I did. Hating you would make this so much easier.
But I don’t. I never could.
I reread Lennon’s text from the other day yet again as Colt, Levi, and I make our way to the trailer she reserved for us. I hadn’t been expecting her to respond—all the others I’d sent had gone unanswered—so I was pleasantly surprised when she did. As much as I know the words were meant to hurt, they also gave me hope. Hope that I hadn’t had until that point.
Hope that maybe this thing between us can still be fixed.
Which is why I showed up to the benefit concert way earlier than I need to be—I don’t go on until eight thirty p.m., which is just over six hours from now. But I figured showing up early would give me a better shot at getting Lennon to talk to me beforehand.Get her to forgive me. And if not, then hopefully either Isa’s plan or my performance will.
Besides, she gave all the performers VIP passes to the rest of the show, and it feels like it would be a waste not to use it. Even though she won’t talk to me right now, at least I can enjoy my day listening to some great music and knowing I’m helping raise money for a good cause.
When we make it to our trailer, I pull open the door and freeze, stunned by what I see inside.
To my left is a bowl of sour candy, a variety of brands and flavours, with a pack of Marlboro Blacks and a dark-red S.T. Dupont lighter sitting next to it. In the mini fridge is a case of Sprite Zero, twelve bottles of Fiji water, and apple juice boxes.
Just like I put in my rider.
“Sick, a colouring book!” Levi’s grin grows wide as he picks it and the markers up. “Damn, and she got a good one. Lemon’s the best.”
I roll my eyes at his nickname for her, but fuck if he’s not right. Sheisthe best, and her including all the things from my rider just proves that.
He takes a seat on the opposite side of the table, where a record player sits with an original copy of Thorned Roses’I Dare Youalbum leaning against it. The bowl in front of that is filled to the brim with guitar picks, and a box of condoms is next to that.
Though those won’t be necessary without her.
When I sent her the rider, it wasn’t serious. I did it to get her attention, but being here now, seeing nearly every item on the list laid out in front of me, my heart sinks into my stomach.
It shouldn’t surprise me that even after everything, she made sure my trailer was stocked full of my pre-show routine items. Knowing she did all this for me despite how much pain I’ve caused only adds to how much I love her.
