Page 93 of Starstruck
LIGHT UP
LENNON
One Month Until the Concert
“COLLIDE” BY HOWIE DAY
“So…I think I’m in love with Baxter,” I announce quietly across the shelf holding various vinyl albums at Underground Espresso, the combined record store and coffee shop down the street from Revolution.
It’s been three days since Baxter and I returned from New York State, where his final show was. Three days spent drowning in each other, knowing in a few short weeks, this will all be over. Three days of me trying to push my feelings away before finally resigning myself to the fact that I am in love with him.
And I have no idea what to do about that little discovery.
“About damn time.” Isa huffs a laugh, rounding the shelf to come stand beside me. “What made you finally realize?”
“I, uh…” I roll my lips together. “I had a nightmare a few weeks back, before his tour ended. First one in a while. I think hashing things out with Dyl and Paige brought up too much and…anyway, I left him a voicemail at four in the morning, and a few hours later, he was knocking on my apartment door.”
“Hold the fucking phone,” Isa hisses as she leans forward, her eyes wide. “Heshowed up at your door?”
I nod.
She shakes her head in disbelief. “Mid-tour. He just…left, and came to see you?”
I nod again.
“Oh, my god.” Isa’s jaw falls open.
“I know.”
“He’s in love with you, too.”
My brows furrow. “No…no he’s not. There’s no way. Baxter doesn’t do love. He told me so himself.”
Isa rolls her eyes. “Lenny, think about it. Actions speak louder than words, and everything that man has done in the past few months suggests serious feelings have developed.”
I ponder her words, thinking about everything that’s happened.
How Baxter opened up to me about his mom the first night we met, even though I was nothing more than a stranger in a bar. How he broke his own rules for me that same night. How he chased me when I left Jeremy’s office the first day we saw each other again. The way he practically jumped at the chance to be a part of the benefit, despite it being something he wouldn’t usually do. The wayhewas the one who brought up the idea of being friends with benefits, and how he admitted he doesn’t want to stay away from me.
How every day since then, he’s done nothing to make me believe he isn’t interested in me and everything to show me he is. He drives me places because he knows I don’t like to. He remembered my coffee order without me having to tell him. He came to check on me on the six-month anniversary of the accident simply because he was worried about me. He’s teaching me to play guitar. He had roses delivered to my office.
He flew from Cleveland to Toronto on the day of a show simply because I’d called him.
He was ready to knock Nathan out simply because he wastouching me.
He worshipped my body and told me I’m his, over and over and over again.
Holy shit.
“Told you,” she remarks with a smirk.
I hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but the fact of the matter is, she’s right.
I’ve been so dead set on believing Baxter would never fall for anyone, least of all someone like me, simply because in all his thirty-one years, he’s never been seen with a woman more than once.
But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible for him to change…does it?
He already has in so many ways. He changed his rules for me the night we met when I was a total stranger. He changed his rules by agreeing to be friends with benefits. Who’s to say he hasn’t changed his mind about falling in love?
