Page 61 of Starstruck
“My nose and gums started bleeding and wouldn’t stop no matter what we tried. So my parents picked me up and took me to the hospital. They sent me for a variety of tests, because I was having other symptoms, too—fever, pale skin, random bruises covering my body. I was there for nearly twenty-four hours before they were able to get my bleeding under control, and they finally did a bone marrow biopsy before sending me home. Two days later we got the call.”
Her voice cracks on the last sentence, and so does my heart. I can’t imagine how brutal that wait for answers must have been for them.
“I spent eight years in and out of the hospital. I underwent so many treatments—chemo, experimental procedures, surgeries, you name it. For eight years. And then just a few weeks before my fourteenth birthday, I went into remission. I still go back once a year for an annual checkup, just to make sure everything is okay, but I haven’t had any scares since.”
She pauses, chewing on her bottom lip. I place my hand against her cheek, using my thumb to pull her lip free, and she leans into my touch.
“That’s…that’s actually why we were out that night. It was the tenth anniversary of my remission. But now that day—the day that for so long was the best day of my life—is tainted with the memory of the accident.”
I rear back, shocked by that revelation. It’s bad enough that her parents died, but for it to happen on what was such a good day for her?
It makes me feel sick.
It makes me hate that bastard in prison even more than I already do.
“I stole my parents’ attention for nearly a decade, and I don’t think my siblings will ever get past that. I’ve never gotten past it. It’s why up until the accident, I played things so safe. I didn’t want to burden them all any more than I already had.”
“I told you back in January that you aren’t a burden. That still rings true. If your siblings had a problem with your parents taking care of you while you were sick, then that’s on them. Not you.” I tilt her chin up so our gazes connect. “The accident isn’t on you either. It’s on that bastard who drove drunk and hit you guys. Just because you were driving doesn’t make it your fault. It could’ve happened regardless of who was driving. There was nothing you could’ve done to prevent it.” My features harden as I speak, a hint of anger present in my tone from the thought of Logan.
A tear slips past her waterline. “Thank you,” she whispers, smiling sadly before swinging the question back on me. “Your turn. What’s your family like?”
My face shifts as I hesitate. Now would be a perfect time to tell her the truth about my mom’s accident, but I can’t find the words. That history is one I’ve tried so hard to forget, and sharing it now won’t do either of us any good.
So instead, I grit my teeth and swallow. “I don’t have any family left,” I tell her, and though it’s not the full story, it’s still the truth. “I lost all my family when I was twenty-one years old. Colt and Levi are the closest thing I have to a family now. It’s been like that since I met them, and it’ll be that way until I die. I’m okay with that.”
I’m not. But she doesn’t need to know that.
She studies my expression, her hazel eyes swirling with emotion. But thankfully, she doesn’t push.
“What’s going to happen after this ends?” she asks, a raspiness in her voice.
The question catches me off guard, but I know she’s referring to our arrangement.
The truth is, I don’t know what will happen after we end. When I agreed to the timeline, I barely knew the girl tangled in my arms right now. Now that I do, I can’t imagine ever going back to a time when she wasn’t front and centre in my world.
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there. Let’s just enjoy each other’s company for now,” I tell her, unwilling to admit that the last thing I want is to walk away from her in a few months.
She nods. “I like the sound of that.”
She simply presses a kiss to my cheek before leaning back against me, letting the sound of my heartbeat and the steady feel of my breathing lull her to sleep.
I rub circles on her back, letting myself imagine just for a second what it would be like if when August twenty-fourth hits, we didn’t go our separate ways. If she agreed to be mine forreal. For more than just sex and for longer than the timeline we agreed on.
I’ve always been so aversive toward falling in love and being in a relationship, and that still hasn’t changed. But it’s nice to picture myself loving her, even if it’s never going to happen.
Until my phone rings, and reality comes crashing back.
[27 ]
EVERYTHING
BAXTER
“SHE IS” BY THE FRAY
Sitting in my home recording booth, Lennon holds my black Yamaha FG-TA acoustic guitar while I sit next to her, holding my Takamine GD-30 in dark red. She glances at my finger placement before looking back down at her own, strumming the chord. The desired sound leaves the instrument, and her eyes light up, a massive smile covering her face.
“There you go, Lenny girl. You’ve got it.” I smile back at her before moving my fingers to the next position. “Now try this.”
