Page 15 of Starstruck
A blush creeps up my cheeks. “I did, mostly.”
Her eyes widen. “Wow. You did a great job.” She makesher way over to the largest of my record walls, scanning all the different genres and people I have displayed.
As I move to stand beside her, I hear a sharp intake of breath, and I know her eyes have landed on one of her parents’ albums.
Not wanting to let it ruin the mood, I make quick work of distracting her. Leaning against the back of the couch, I ask, “So, tell me: who is Lennon Thorne?”
She opens her mouth to speak and then shuts it again, appearing unable to find the words to answer that question. She worries her bottom lip before she confesses, “Honestly? I don’t really know who I am. Not anymore.”
I swear I can feel my heart crack a little bit with those last two words. I know better than most how it feels to lose the person you love the most and begin to wonderwhat’s the point?
“That’s the first time I’ve said those words out loud since the accident,” she whispers, and that sentence shocks me.
How am I the first person she’s told this to? Does no one close to her realize how much she’s hurting?
“Then tell me about the old Lennon. What was she like?”
“There’s not much to share there, either,” she begins, leaning against the couch next to me. “But I can tell you that the old me never would’ve gotten into the car of the notorious Baxter James, nor would she have let him eat her out in a dirty bar bathroom.” She smiles softly, and I can’t help the chuckle that escapes me.
Sighing, she adds, “The old me liked to play by the rules. She never took any risks. She was nervous and cautious and spent six years with the same damn man no matter how bored she was, because she was too scared to leave behind the life she’d grown so comfortable with.”
I scowl, caught off guard by that little tidbit of information. “Wait, yo—” I start to ask, but she holds up a hand, cutting me off.
“No, I don’t have a boyfriend. I broke up with him back in November, right after the accident. Don’t worry.”
I sigh in relief. I may not be big on relationships for the simple fact that I don’t believe in love, but I respect people who are. Cheating is one line I refuse to cross.
“What changed?” It might be a stupid question, but I get the sense she hasn’t talked to anybody about anything going on in her mind for a long while, if at all.
“My parentsdied.” Her voice cracks. “Wouldn’t that change you?” She glances at me, tears in her eyes, but there’s no snark in her voice—she’s genuinely wondering. As if she believes her feelings about what happened are inappropriate.
“Yeah, it would,” I tell her, contemplating whether I should go on. She’s opened up to me, so I figure why the fuck not do the same. “Itdid.”
Now it’s her turn to scowl at me, confused. “What do you mean?”
This evening just got a whole lot deeper than I was anticipating, and not in the way I was hoping. I run my hand through my hair, avoiding her gaze. “My mom died in a drunk driving accident, too. Just over eleven years ago.”
She gasps. “Oh, wow.” She pauses, rolling her lips together. “I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Thanks,” I grunt. I look back up, our eyes connecting. “So, trust me, I know better than most what you’re going through. I get what it’s like to lose the person you love most in the world.” My hand moves to cover hers. “And I really am sorry about your parents, too.”
She nods solemnly, a single tear escaping her eye. I reach up and wipe it away with my thumb.
“I appreciate you telling me,” she whispers. “It makes me feel a bit less alone.”
My brows furrow, and I pull her closer, shifting her so she’s standing directly in front of me. “What about your siblings? Can’t you talk to them?”
Her hands connect behind my neck as she shakes her head. “I could, but I don’t. It’s partially my fault our parents are gone, and I know my siblings must blame me for that. I don’t want to burden them.”
I swallow thickly as I watch her, my heart breaking for the woman standing in front of me. It makes me even angrier at the man who did this, knowing he caused this incredible woman to build her walls so high she won’t even let those closest to her know how badly she’s hurting.
I wish more than anything that I could take away some of her pain, yet instead, I’ll likely be the one who causes her more. Like I do with everyone who crosses my path.
But I can at least try to help her forget, even if it is just for tonight.
“You’re not a burden, Lennon.”
She glances up and our gazes connect. She’s wedged between my legs, and my hands rest on her hips. She smiles softly as her fingers tangle in the hair at the nape of my neck.
