Page 102 of Starstruck
Trying to convince myself it wasn’t real.
It wasn’t real.
Logically, I know that. But it felt real. And even though I can’t see it anymore, when your mind has played tricks on you as much as mine has, constantly making up a new version of the accident, it becomes hard to separate the truth from the lie.
“Baxter?” I finally say once my breathing has steadied and my heart rate has slowed.
His response is to pull me tighter against him, burrowing his face in my hair. “Lennon.” He says my name with relief and hope, like it’s a prayer. “You’re safe, baby.”
The butterflies in my stomach flutter when he calls me that.
Exhaling deeply, I pull myself out of his grasp so I can roll over. The room is dark, but there’s a soft blue glow over the bed from the moonlight shining in his window.
After the hearing earlier, Baxter asked me to come back to his place for the night. Despite the rule of no sleepovers, I didn’t take much convincing. I’d much rather be here with him than alone in my bed.
I rest my hand on his cheek as he tangles his fingers in my hair. We stare at each other like that for a while until he finally breaks the silence to ask if I’m okay.
“I am now,” I tell him softly.
The corner of his mouth quirks up at that.
“It was the accident again.”
He shifts his head to press a kiss to the inside of my palm. “Better or worse?”
Than the last one, is what he’s asking.
I swallow. “Different.” His brows pull together in question, so with a sigh, I add, “It wasn’t my parents in the car with me. It was you.”
His jaw flexes against my hand.
“It wasn’t real,” he tells me firmly. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know.” I smile sadly. “I don’t remember the rest of it. I think it’s because of you.”
He swallows. “Colt has nightmares, too. I know from experience with him that waking someone up in the middle of a nightmare can make things worse—like a guarantee that they’ll remember it all. So, I just let you know you’re not alone. I used to do the same for him. It was nothing.”
My eyes water. This man has a heart of gold, and it’s a shame he doesn’t let people see it more.
“It was everything. It’s the first time I’ve ever woken up from a nightmare and not been able to replay it in my mind. You did that for me.”
“I’ll do whatever it takes to protect you, Lennon.”
I nod, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Thank you.”
We continue staring at each other until eventually he dozes off again. I let my eyes flutter shut, too, and for the first time since I started getting nightmares, I manage to fall back to sleep.
[45 ]
TOO CLOSE
BAXTER
“I AM THE HIGHWAY” BY AUDIOSLAVE
The next morning, I wake to the sound of my phone ringing. Lennon is still curled up in my arms from her nightmare, and I give myself a moment to appreciate her this way—calm, peaceful, ethereal. Her nightmare last night scared the shit out of me, but knowing she won’t remember it today makes every bit of fear I felt worth it.
My phone begins to ring again, so I quietly unravel myself from her to see who it is. Rolling over, I glance at the clock to see it’s not even seven a.m. before unplugging my phone from its charger. When I see the words UNKNOWN NUMBER flashing across the screen, I stand from the bed, moving toward my ensuite bathroom.
