Page 167 of Gym Bros
The pain in his words is palpable. They hit the center of my heart and resonate. Lifting my hand, I drive my fist into the brick beside his head. I feel my knuckles split. A trickle of blood runs between my fingers.
He flinches and grabs my wrist. “Sam?—”
I yank away, stepping back. I bump into someone passing on the sidewalk, and I’m knocked off balance.
“She deserves to know,” I say.
And so did I.
Calyx should have said something. Why the fuck didn’t he? He wanted me to back off so bad in the beginning? This would have done it. I would have never touched him.
Never.
But he must have known that.
And once we started—I don’t think heeverwould have told me.
I think the two of them would have gone to their graves with this while I stupidly sat next to Calyx at Thanksgiving dinner in front of my mother and this disgusting excuse for a husband and father.
As I’m turning in the direction of my condo since my father drove us here, he calls after me—saying the worst thing he could say. “Please don’t tell her.”
I shake my head without looking back.
He fucking wishes.
The walk home is mostly uphill. My phone is blowing up in my pocket, but I don’t check it. Worst case scenario it’s my fatherandCalyx.
They’ve probably talked. They probably have a whole game plan about how to deal with the problem of my knowing. How to manage me. Contain me.
But maybe both of them have underestimated me—again.
Maybe they think I’ll calm down. What’s past is past. My parents’ marriage is none of my business. But that’s not the way I think. I’m not some huge stickler for loyalty, nor am I some momma’s boy, but what I can’t stand—what I’veneverbeen able to tolerate is watching someone get hurt who doesn’t deserve it—who did nothing to provoke it.
I can’t claim to be an expert on my parents’ marriage, but I know the vows they took—that everyone takes.Forsaking all others.Rage at my father on behalf of my mother powers most of my walk home, but as my condo comes into view, my mind switches gears to Calyx who’s spent so much time here—so many nights in mybed. Knowing. Lying.
Deliberately keeping me in the dark. I fucking trusted him. I trusted them both.
I am so, so goddamned stupid.
I’m almost afraid to go in. Afraid to be anywhere near Beauty. I would never deliberately hurt her, but what if I’m too rough? What if she gets caught in the crossfire of my need to destroy something. I cross the street, heading for the gym instead.
It’s dark inside, empty. I have spare clothes in my locker, but I need to hit something more than I need to preserve my wardrobe.
I take off my shirt once I approach the punching bags and toss it to the side. With no gloves and bare feet, I go after a bag with everything I’ve got, bloody knuckles and so much fucking betrayal powering my limbs, I can’t believe the chain doesn’t give out.
25
CALYX
Marcus’s text feels like a flash burn.
Marcus
He knows. He saw our texts. I’m sorry.
I don’t respond. What can I say? I drop my phone next to me on the couch and lie down, curling into the fetal position, and try to breathe.
I’ve arrived at the worst-case scenario. Not that any way Samuel found out would have been better than any other way. That’s why he was never supposed to know.
