Page 49 of Gym Bros
Rachel says, “It’s like a 24-7 rave. If you like that kind of thing.”
“I guess we’ll see,” I tell her.
“Don’t let them pressure you,” Calyx says. “Theycantake no for an answer.”
“Is there someplace you’d rather go?” I ask, and I don’t know why I do it. Just that if Iamgonna go out, it’d technically be his fault, so he should probably be there to see it.
Listen to me. I’m in a near flop sweat from sitting next to him, but ready to call it a day if I don’t get a chance to dance with him. I’m all over the fucking place. I blame the pink underwear comment. I’m not sure I’ve been thinking straight since. Correction: I definitely haven’t been thinkingstraight.
“Have you ever been to a big dance club before?” he asks.
“Yeah,” I say.
“Did you like it?”
I didn’t, but itismy twenty-first birthday, and I have this rare, unexpected opportunity to actually spend it with people, so I don’t really care where we go. What I’m going to wear is a whole other problem, but I figure I have the rest of the day to try and solve it. “It was fine. I’ll go wherever.”
“Calyx…” Rachel says leadingly.
“Someone came on my ass the last time I was there,” he complains, and I nearly choke on air.
Priya bursts out laughing. “Oh my God, I totally forgot about that.”
“I was basically assaulted.”
“My friend,” Rachel says, reaching across the table and grabbing his hand. “I love you, but I’ve seen less dirty kisses in porn.”
“Shut the fuck up,” he sighs, throwing himself back in the booth and crossing his arms.
Holy shit, I’m getting hard again, and there are no goats to hide behind this time.
Rachel looks at me. “Not to be indiscreet, but he was reallyputting himself out there, if you get my meaning.”
“I was drunk. Doesn’t count,” Calyx says, but also doesn’t sound bothered by his friend’s characterization, and that shouldn’t make my dick any thicker, but itdoes. Thank God for this table.
“So, it’s settled?” Priya asks expectantly.
I nod. Rachel is an enthusiastic yes.
Calyx puffs out the word, “Fine,” just before our drinks arrive.
I survive the rest of brunch thanks to Rachel and Priya. Calyx doesn’t end up saying much, but the women easily fill the silences. I talk a lot, the champagne loosening me up, but the topics are easy and mostly revolve around MMA.
I’m sleepy by the time I get home, so I shower the goat and grass off me before climbing into bed with Beauty. On my phone, I pull up Calyx’s Instagram reels. I’ve spent plenty of time on his TikTok, too, but for whatever reason, even though I guess it’s supposed to show more of his personality—it doesn’t match with the person I’ve spent an hour every evening with this week, or even this morning.
Watching him model booty shorts and skimpy tops is tantalizing and everything, but the IG vibe is sleeker, more contained, and for whatever reason, it’s easier to fantasize about the unattainable version of him.
And yes, I do fantasize about him. How can I not? I feel like I should be more conflicted about it—him beingmale and everything—since I’ve never been attracted to a guy before, but I’m just not bothered by it. At all.
I think he’s dead sexy, and I couldn’t care less what’s between his legs. Actually, that’s not true. The fact that there’s a cock there actually makes my attraction to him feel feverish. My father’s words—he’s rare—keep coming back to me. It’s so true. I can’t think of a comparison, and I’ve taken a lot of walks around San Francisco lately.
I’ve seen pretty boys of all stripes. Dark and light, long hair, short hair, feminine and boyish, and there’s not a single person I’ve noticed that has what Calyx’s got.
He’s an exquisite blend of masculine and feminine. The same way those really hot masc lesbians are. Although I’ve never gotten off to any of their Reels before.
With Calyx’s Instagram feed, though, I haven’t been able to help myself. It’s a rabbit hole I keep falling into even though I know that if he knew I’ve been scrolling it obsessively, he’d probably think I was a terrible person, but he’s basically all I think about when I’m not plotting my return to the training gym. He’sthathot. I’ve literally never wanted to fuck anyone as much as I want to fuck him.
It’s a useless fantasy, and I mostly get that, but it doesn’t really matter how many ways I try to tell myself to give it up. My dick just keeps winding up in my hand when my other hand inevitably navigates to his page.
