Page 47 of Gym Bros
He obliges, and it’s fun to watch. The goat on him is practically preening. Mine climbs off at last and moves to the lady behind me, but there are more.
They keep on coming. The yoga class, in fact, seems specifically designed to provide the goats with ramps and hills. There are like three standing poses—only enough time for the goats to find a new person.
It’s a ridiculous experience, and I massively undercounted the amount of goats. They’re fucking everywhere. My face, my hair, my legs and yes, my ass.
“I feelused,” I cry out, mainly to Rachel and Priya who are managing their own goat situations. At this point, Samuel’s not doing yoga anymore. He’s got two goats in his lap and he’s laughing and petting them as they sniff at his face.
Corpse pose—final relaxation—is an actual joke.
I don’t know how many goats climb on me during it. No one can stop giggling.
“If everyone could please bring your nearest goat back to the pen, we’ll call namaste!” the instructor says.
Samuel manages to carry three at once. Rachel grabs one,and I would, but there are more than enough people too excited about carrying baby goats around that I don’t have to.
Priya grins at me with her head tilted back to soak up some sun. “I think he likes you.”
“They all liked me,” I say.
She scoots over to Samuel’s yoga mat and leans in. “Dumbass, not the goats. I meanSaber.”
My heart thuds, and I look at her with what I’m sure is pure horror on my face. “What?”
“Rachel noticed it, too. We have video.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
She waves me in even closer. Scowling at her, I allow her to whisper in my ear. “He had a boner.”
“Oh my God,” I say.
“Gray sweats,” she says. “They hide nothing.”
“There’s literally thirty people here—and I’m not including your tits. What the fuck makes you think his twenty-year old hard on had anything to do with me?”
“Oh, I don’t know. The way he kept looking over at you.”
“I had goats crawling all over me.”
“So did we. So did everybody.”
“Bitch, please. You’re still drunk.”
She laughs. “Okay, but what if I’m right?”
“You’re delusional.”
“I said what if.”
“If what?” I ask. “He got a boner from watching goats jumping on my ass?”
“Yeah. What if?”
I squint at her. “What are you asking me?”
“Would you hit that?”
“Dear fucking God.” I stand up and immediately start rolling up my mat.
