Page 46 of Gym Bros
“Sam, just—try to have fun.”
I can see the swallow he forces down as I sit up. Then he turns to the instructor and doesn’t say anything else.
We start in cat-cow, a hands and knees breathing exercise that absolutely gets the goats climbing.
Girls in the front are already collapsing in giggles as they’re mounted by baby goats. I wonder how much they weigh as I bow my back like a mad cat, then sag into cow with my ass stretched out. This one I do feel in my tailbone, and it’s fabulous.
Samuel clears his throat beside me, and I check in on him. He’s moving through the stretch slower, but he’s doing fine. His cheeks are pink, though, like he’s already exerting himself. “Tailbone?” I ask.
“Uh. Yeah.”
“I feel it, too,” I assure him.
“Fuck,” he mumbles, and then in a stronger voice he says, “It’s fine.”
When we sit back into child’s pose for a few breaths, I feel the first goat sniffing around my hair. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to be in the moment, but the little guy is really getting in there. I turn my head the other way, but then it hops onto my back, and I let out a minor scream. Priya’s got one, too, and hers just looks pleased to have climbed something, but I swear to God, mine is trying to eat my hair.
“Dude,” I say, wiggling my back to try and get it to move.
Samuel snorts beside me. “Need some help?”
“Is this normal?” I ask.
“I’m not a goat whisperer.”
“He’s chewing my hair.”
“I don’t think he is,” Samuel says. “It probably just smells good.”
We’re told to move into downward dog, and surely that’ll shake the beast off me, but no. It scrambles for purchase as I move too smoothly I guess and winds up atop my ass. Rachel’s taking pictures and smiling wide, but Samuel’s grin is what I notice most. Also, the fact that his downward dog is coming along nicely. He’s still bending his right leg, but when he pedals his heel, he’s leaving his leg extended for longer periods of time, his arms easily managing to compensate.
“There’s a goat on your ass,” he says.
“Yeah?” I ask. “Is he hot?”
Samuel busts out a laugh. “I think it’s a she.”
“Ew. How can you tell?”
“Pink collar.”
“Pshh. Means nothing. I wear pink all the time. I’ve got on pink underwear right now.”
His arms buckle, but he catches himself.
“You all right?” I ask, concerned. Maybe he’s got too much weight on his arms after all.
“Yep.”
He trains his gaze on his knees. Priya’s goat climbs over Rachel and then gets in Samuel’s face.
When we move into plank, my goat stays, and his pounces onto his back.
“Feel that?” I ask. “It’s a mere preview of what the Thai ladies can do.”
Miraculously, he laughs again. I wish I were keeping count.
“Saber, do some push-ups,” Rachel says, and I’m pretty sure she’s filming this. She’s totally not doing yoga.
