Page 183 of Gym Bros
“He used to call me angel, too.”
Samuel’s eyes close and he takes a slow, long breath.
“That’s all,” I say. “That’s the only thing I wanted you to know that I didn’t know if you knew.”
“Okay,” he says. And then, after a long pause, “I guess that was pretty weird.”
“Only the first time,” I say.
“And then?”
“I don’t know. I guess I just felt like it meant more whenyousaid it. And I liked it a lot better.”
“You know I can like—literally never call you that again.”
“I know,” I whisper, finally losing the battle against tears. Only a few slide out. I’m not sobbing or anything. More like I’m watching the end of a sad movie. It’s pitiful.
“You’re beautiful when you cry,” he says.
I roll my eyes to the ceiling and sigh. “Thanks.”
“But I prefer your laugh.”
I nod and wipe my face.
“Anyway, I think itcanwork,” he says. “If you want it to.”
I don’t ask how because I don’t care how. I just want it to. If he believes we can move past this together, I want that more than I want anything. Samuel is the fucking boyfriend lottery with the one red flag, but the green ones are far, far more brilliant. “I love you like crazy. Of courseIwant to.”
“Well, I didn’t mean to break up with you. Sorry about that. I just couldn’t deal with it all that day.”
My heart feels frozen mid-beat. “Totally understandable.”
“So can we get back together?” he asks, as simple as that, and I wish it were, but I’m scared.
Nerves twist inside me, and I wipe more tears away. “I have to know you won’t—hold it against me.”
“Hold—? Oh. Calyx…” He reaches for my hand, and I give it to him all too eagerly. He squeezes hard. “Look. I can’t imagine what your life was like before I met you. I can’t even imagine what it must be like tolooklike you. But I can promise you, if I didn’t have the best time of my life when I’m around you, I wouldn’t be here. It’s gonna come up for me. Not necessarily that you were with him or whatever, but that I really fucking hate him right now, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon.”
“Valid,” I say quietly.
“Yeah. But no. It won’t be something I throw in your face every time we have a disagreement or whatever. I love you all the way. No one can take that from me. Not even you.”
“I understand if you need more time.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “No, I’ve had time. Do you need time?”
“Absolutely not. This has been plenty.”
His hand tightens on mine once again before he lets go. “Okay. Then what I need,” he says standing, “is a drink, a football game, and for you to share that blanket because I’m still really fucking cold. Some food would be cool, too.”
My reversal of fortune is making the room spin. “I don’t know what’s open.”
“Chinatown is always open.”
I shouldn’t drink any more wine, but I find myself reaching for the glass anyway. “That sounds…good.”
“I’m getting a duck,” he says. “I’ll even carve it for you.”
