Page 53 of Stream Heat
"It was my choice," I said defensively. "No one forced me."
"Was it an informed choice? Did anyone explain what nine hundred milligrams twice daily for eight years would do to your liver? Your kidneys? Your brain chemistry?"
I remained silent, the answer obvious.
He sighed, rubbing his temples. "I need to run some tests before we discuss options."
"I don't need tests. I need suppressants."
"What you need," he said firmly, "is to understand what's happening to your body."
The next hour was a blur of blood draws, scent analysis, reflex tests, and increasingly alarming questions about symptoms I'd been dismissing as normal for years. Chronic fatigue. Temperature regulation issues. Memory lapses. Mood swings. Sensory processing difficulties.
Finally, we were back in his office, a tablet displaying my results between us.
"It's worse than I thought," he said without preamble. "Your liver enzymes are severely elevated. Your hormone levels are completely destabilized. Your neurochemical markers show patterns consistent with long-term suppressant toxicity."
"But I can still take suppressants," I pressed, focusing on the only thing that mattered. "Maybe a lower dose?"
Dr. Levine looked at me with something between pity and frustration. "Ms. Smith, let me be clear: continuing any form of military-grade suppressants could cause permanent organ damage. We're talking liver failure, kidney dysfunction, possibly even neurological impairment."
The room seemed to tilt slightly. "That can't be right. I've been fine for years."
"You haven't been fine. Your body has been compensating, but that compensation has limits." He scrolled through more results on his tablet. "The breakthrough heat you experienced wasn't just bad timing. It was system failure. Your body physically couldn't process the suppressants anymore."
"So what are my options?" My voice sounded distant, detached, like it belonged to someone else.
"Medically supervised withdrawal is the only safe path forward. The legal-grade suppressants you're currently taking are the right approach, but the timeline needs to be extended." He looked at me directly. "The withdrawal could take months, possibly up to a year for complete system recalibration."
"A year?" The word came out as a whisper. "I can't–my career–"
"Your career won't matter if you're dead," he said bluntly. "And that's a real possibility, no, probability, if you go back on military-grade suppressants after this breakthrough. Your system is already showing signs of organ stress."
I stared at the floor, trying to process what he was telling me. "And after the withdrawal? What then?"
His expression softened slightly. "Then you'll need to learn to live as an Omega."
The words hit me like a slap to the face. Live as an Omega. Accept the designation I'd spent my entire adult life denying. Become everything I'd fought not to be.
"There must be alternatives," I insisted. "Other medications. Experimental treatments. Something."
"There are legal suppressants that can moderate your heat cycles once your system stabilizes. Make them more predictable, less intense. But they won't hide what you are." He hesitated, then added, "And frankly, after what you've put your bodythrough, I'm not sure you'll ever have completely normal cycles again."
"What does that mean?"
"It means your body might never fully stabilize. You could experience irregular heats, unpredictable intensity, sensory processing issues that flare without warning." He scrolled through more data. "The damage to your endocrine system may be permanent."
The room was definitely spinning now. Permanent damage. Irregular heats. A lifetime of unpredictable biology. The complete destruction of the control I'd fought so hard to maintain.
"I can't accept that," I said finally, my voice steadier than I felt. "There has to be another option."
Dr. Levine studied me for a long moment. "There is one other possibility, though I hesitate to even mention it given your situation."
"Tell me."
"Pack bonding." He said it matter-of-factly, like he was suggesting aspirin for a headache. "A strong Alpha presence, or better yet, multiple Alphas in a pack structure, can help stabilize an Omega's system during withdrawal. The pheromone exchange creates a biochemical balance that medication alone can't achieve."
I almost laughed. Of course that would be the solution, the one thing I'd been fighting against since moving into the Pack Wrecked house. The one thing my body seemed determined to pursue despite my best efforts to maintain distance.
