Page 114 of Stream Heat
That was such a Theo thing to say that it almost made me laugh. Instead, I took a few steps in. “That’s exactly what we need to talk about.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he said, cutting the sandwich in half with enough force the knife skittered against the cutting board. “Alpha fucks Omega. Wow, what a shocker. How traditional. How boringly inevitable.”
“Is that what you think happened?” I asked, eyebrows up. “You think Reid claimed me like some kind of... possession?”
“You tell me.” His hands clenched tighter on the counter, knuckles pale against the wood. “You still smell like him. Do you have any idea what that does to the rest of us? To me?”
He finally met my gaze, for once not hiding behind a bad joke. He looked raw, stripped-down, nothing between me and that jagged vulnerability.
It threw me. I cleared my throat. “Tell me, then. What does it do to you? Specifically.”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair, almost frantic. “It makes me want to tear his throat out.” A wild, painful laugh. “And then bite you right where he did, just to prove I can. And then maybe cry about it a little, which is very not-alpha, so let’s just act like I didn’t say that last part.”
That startled a laugh out of me in spite of myself. “You don’t do anything halfway, do you?”
“That’s the Theo special.” He tried to grin, and it was actually better, but the tension didn’t really go anywhere. “Too loud, too much, too everything.”
I recognized that self-deprecation, because it was the same flavor I’d used to keep the world at arm’s length for years. “You’re not too much. You’re exactly what you’re supposed to be.”
He looked away. “Try telling that to all the people who just want me to turn the volume down. Or be less… messy.”
“I wouldn’t,” I said, moving closer, right into his space now. “Your chaos is the only reason I’m still sane.”
His scent changed, ozone spiking with interest. “You need me to keep you from going off the deep end, huh?”
“Exactly. You remind me not to take myself too seriously. You call me out when I start spiraling. And you make me laugh when I can’t see anything funny about my life.” I was near enough to touch him. “You balance me out.”
His breath caught, hope bright and sharp on his face before the old doubt wrapped around him again. “Even if you say that, you still picked Reid to be with first.”
“I didn’t pick anybody.” My voice came out low, fierce. “It just kind of happened. If it had been you…”
He snorted. “You wouldn’t have asked me. I’m not the steady one. That’s not my job. I’m the chaos gremlin, remember?”
“You’re selling yourself short.” His whole attitude was making me want to shake him. “You think I don’t notice how you ratchet it down around me when I’m close to the edge? All the times you distract me right when I’m about to spiral, or order what I want even if I haven’t even said it out loud?”
He looked surprised. “That’s just… what you do for friends, I guess.”
“It’s more than that, and you know it.” I was close enough now that I could practically taste his scent, the edge of sour-sweet green tea mixing with my own. “You don’t just care about me as an Omega. You care about me as me.”
“Course I do,” he said, and for once he didn’t try to hide it. “I’ve been half in love with you since you called me a ‘sentient energy drink with the aim of a drunk toddler’ on stream that time.”
The air between us changed, all the little confessions that had gone unsaid until now dotting the silence like lightning bugs.
“Theo…”
He cut me off, voice rough. “Don’t. You don’t have to let me down easy. I know I’m not your type.”
That was so wrong it made me want to scream. Instead, I stepped all the way up to him and took the risk. “Will you shut up for one second? I’m trying to tell you I feel the same way.”
His head jerked up, wide-eyed. “Wait, what?”
“You heard me.” It was scarier than anything else I’d faced lately, this raw honesty, but I shoved through it. “I want all of you. All the different ways you make my life less impossible.”
Hope exploded in his expression, so overwhelming I almost had to look away.
“But Reid…”
“Reid is part of it, too. So are Jace and Ash and Malik.” I reached for his arm, fingers splayed over the muscles still tense as drawn wire. “I don’t want to choose between you. I finally figured out I don’t have to.”
