Page 107 of Orc's Possession
I wonder if my memory of my father will ever fade.
Then a voice I haven’t heard in a month, one I long to hear more than even my mother’s, fills my soul.
You’re nothing like your father, Atox.
I know you. I see the male you are. You make me stronger.
Why her words haunt me, I do not know. My female left me.
“There are other females. The moxxels.” All I can envision after weeks of pain is dead humans littering the ground.
Except my female could be among them.
Anger and confusion fill me at the thought of her broken, lifeless body.
“If you never planned to spare the humans, Atox, then why did you not order me to lead an attack the day they attacked you?”
I want to see her one last time.“She doesn’t want me, but she’s still mine, Verig. I have a duty to her. I must ensure she doesn’t get hurt in the battle.”
“Even though she left you.”
When I do not answer, he adds, “Why not take her back from the humans by force?”
I miss my female, and I cannot even tell my second. He would think me weak. And he’d be right.
Every night, I fall asleep, the image of Paloma walking away from me seared in my brain. The pain from that moment will last longer than the burns, with deeper, biting scars that none of Ossa’s salves can heal.
I wanted more with Paloma than her body in my furs. I wanted all of my female, standing at my side, completing me with her strength, wisdom, and compassion. She was right. I am not anything like my father… but that was because of her.
If she cannot be with me, then I’m at a loss as to what my future holds. I cannot turn my anger on her. I just… can’t. I pray tothe gods my female finds the happiness and peace she seeks even though I never will, not without her.
I straighten atop my gorja. “I will not explain myself to you.”
Verig growls. “You’ve changed, Grak.”
He rarely uses my title. Doing so now sets me on edge more than I already am. I lost my female, and now I risk losing my second’s respect and support. A male whose opinion I value above all others.
Except my female’s.
Vek, why can’t I forget about her?
“Speak, Verig. Do not hide your thoughts from me. Tell me I’m as bloodthirsty as my grak.”
He snorts. “No, Grak, you are nothing like him. But you have changed. You are more patient. Less hungry for the blood of our enemy.”
“She’s not the enemy.” Vek, I didn’t mean to say that aloud.
“Our graka? No, she’s not. But she’s among them. She may be killed, as may many of the females. Females we need. Would it not be better to take them and leave the human males without? They will suffer more in life than in death.”
His idea has merit. And it would solve two problems. “The humans agreed to five, so we will take ten,” I say.
“In addition to our graka.”
“She will remain with the human colony.”
“Grak, she is your female! You performed the risha. You should?—”
“Enough! I have my reasons.”
