Page 29 of Kissed By the Alien
She chews on her lip, which draws my eyes. I don’t like her hurting herself, especially because of me.
“Whatever happened with your brother, I’m sure about one thing. You’re not a murderer.”
I take my eyes from her. “The how doesn’t matter. He’s still dead. I should leave.”
“The sheet, Lutan. Why does it trigger you?”
“You’re not going to let this go.”
“You need to forgive yourself.”
“I cannot be forgiven.”
“Everyone can be forgiven.”
Looking at her sweet face, at the patience and the empathy there, I find the idea of walking away from her without answering unconscionable. Like I walked away from Narzan.
“It’s the color of blood. Like your dress. You humans have an entire holiday celebrating the color of death.”
Her face falls. I’ve said too much. I don’t mean to insult her traditions, but it’s been a long night and I’m torn seeing my sholani, the epitome of beauty, wrapped in red.
My sholani…
I’ve found my sholani…
And I cannot claim her.
Not without risking her, and I will not do that.
“I never thought of it that way,” she says, her voice soft. “And I’m sorry. About your brother. You sound like you were close.”
I run my hand over the sheet hanging from the doorway. “Such an odd tradition you humans have. You cover the dead with a sheet, much like this one.”
“Usually, we use white to symbolize purity or innocence. A peaceful send off, even. Especially for those who died as a result of violence.”
I wince as the memory of Narzan returns. A warm hand caresses my back, soothing me in a way I did not know exists, especially when I cannot rid myself of the image of Narzan lying in a pool of blood.
“Zyanthans do not cover the dead. We carry them, wounds bared to the universe for all to see what we’ve lost. If they die with their eyes open, we leave them open. We do not rob the fallen of seeing the universe or those who love them on their way to the funeral pyre.”
She leans her head against my back and wraps her arms around my middle. I press a hand over hers and we both fall silent. More memories of Narzan surface. This time, of him trying to best me at knife-throwing. Of racing through the fields to reach home before me and stick me with the chore of corralling the last of the animals into the pen for the night.
“Lutan, will you dance with me?”
My horns twist at the tops, but I do not speak. Coming here was a mistake. The more I’m with her, the more I get to know her and the harder leaving becomes.
“A simple dance,” she suggests. “I’d like to hold you for a bit. I sort of need it.”
I don’t see how dancing will help her, but it’s hard saying no to her, especially when she looks as lost as I feel.
The moment she slips her hands into mine to dance, I take a deep breath. Air fills my lungs and I can breathe again, like I’ve emerged from a smoke-filled tunnel where I’ve been trapped for months.
Two months precisely.
As I close my eyes, Lexi rests her head on my chest. Silky smooth skin caresses me as I rub my cheek against hers. When I curl my arms around her, peace fills my soul. She fits me so perfectly.
I feel at home with her. As if I can tell her anything.
I already have.
