Page 81 of Kissed By the Alien
“You couldn’t have known,” I whisper in his ear. “You gave him a chance. You loved him, and that’s the greatest gift you can give a person. But he wanted more than to fit in; he wanted to be his own person. To make his own choices, good or bad, and you respected that. You let him be the best person he could be in the short time he had.”
Lutan’s arms tighten around me. “I couldn’t save him.”
“But you did, more than once.”
“Not when it counted.”
“Oh, my sweet Warrior. It all counted. Bringing him home, standing up to your father… You fought for him every way you could. It all counted. And he knew it, even if he didn’t show it. You did the right thing letting go.”
“He’s dead because of it. Because I failed him.”
“Helivedbecause of you. He died because of some bad people. You can’t be everywhere, save everyone.”
Lutan says nothing, but I feel his body shaking. and then it hits me. Why he’s so worried about me. He sees me as he did Narzan, someone desperate to fit in, someone who takes risks to get what she wants.
And he’s right.
CHAPTERTHIRTY
LUTAN
Lexi and I spent many hours walking the grounds of the Embassy. Her words comforted me, enough that I’m starting to understand the true value of a heartmate. More than companionship or even giving life to younglings, a sholani helps guide her sholan, helps him see not only his value, but the need to accept that which he cannot change.
“I feared having a sholani,” I confess as we pass through the gates of Lexi’s home. This time, the guards let me through, but I suspect that is only because I’m with Lexi. I don’t recognize their faces.
“Don’t tell me you think having a wife will weaken you.”
“Where do you get these ideas? Ah… from the Coalition. No, Lexi, you misunderstand. I feared the danger I’d bring to my sholani. I could not see what was happening to my own brother, and then when I did, I failed to save him.”
“He wasn’t yours to save. Neither am I.”
I grunt. She does not understand the way of a sholan. Or of a warrior.
“Each person is responsible for his or her own actions, Lutan. That doesn’t mean we’ll never need or want others.” She stops and peers up at the huge house. “I’ve wanted nothing more my entire life than to be of value to someone.”
“You are, sholani. To me.” I set my lips to hers. “You have enormous value,” I say before I kiss her, long and hard.
When we end the kiss, she exhales slowly. “I think I love you, Lutan. And I’m scared to say that.”
My heart races and my horns rise in pride, honor, and joy. “Never be scared with me. You are mine, a fact I’ve tried to ignore since the moment my mating cock rose for you.”
Her feminine giggle goes right to said cock, causing it to press against my pants. Her voice, her laughter… everything that is Lexi has become a drug to me. I can’t imagine not having her in my life.
“I will claim you one of these days, sholani. Fully. Properly.”
“We already mated, Lutan. Withbothyour cocks, I might add.”
“That was not a full mating. You will take my seed and we will speak the ancient words.”
“What words?”
“Ones that bind us in the eyes of the gods.”
Her lips move to mine and plant a sweet kiss. “I want to be with you Lutan, but I’m not quite ready to marry. I need to settle things with my dad and find my place in the universe. Going from his home directly to yours doesn’t feel right.”
She needs to prove something, my sholani. To her father, to me, maybe to herself.
“There is no rush. That is what I’ve learned about finding one’s heartmate. We become part of something larger together, something better. That can only happen when we’re both ready.”
