Page 50 of Kissed By the Alien
But I don’t want to escape Lutan.
With light pressure from his hand, he pulls me toward him until my breasts graze his bare chest. My nipples turn rock hard, rubbing against him despite my thick shirt.
“What are we doing?” I ask. “The last time we danced, we almost slept together.”
His forehead touches mine as silence surrounds us. The outside world no longer exists. Only this strong, sweet, and often stubborn man who holds me with such tenderness and emotion.
Damn, but there’s something exceedingly intimate about standing here with only our foreheads touching. Deeper, more visceral and intense than dancing in a man’s arms.
“Forgive me,” he begs, his voice soft, calm. “I meant to encourage you to speak with your father. Then I touched you and I got swept up in... thoughts.”
“Thoughts?”
“Of a future that cannot be.”
“I’m not sure what you’re saying.”
He pulls away, horns nearly fully back, and moves to the window. “Tell your father everything. I say this for your benefit, not his.”
Telling my father what I’ve been doing isn’t as easy as Lutan thinks.
“We have a tale, meant for children,” I begin, gaining his full attention. “It’s about a little girl, Red Riding Hood. Her mother tells her to stay on the path through the woods on her way to her grandmother’s house and not to talk to strangers. The girl strays from the path and encounters a cunning wolf. She innocently points out where her grandmother lives. Then the wolf races ahead to the grandmother’s house and lies in wait for her.”
“This tale is like you, Lexi. You are the girl, who put herself in danger, to get murdered by a beast.”
“Oh, my strong, caring warrior, I think you need to hear the end of the story before assuming how it ends. While it’s true Red Riding Hood doesn’t have any special abilities or weapons, she’s not helpless. Anyway, the wolf intends to lure her inside by pretending to be her grandmother. He wears the grandmother’s clothing.”
“Is this where you learned to disguise yourself by wearing men’s clothing?”
“No, that was from my dad, actually. Separate story. Anyway, one by one, Red points out his features and how they’re not typical. ‘My, what big teeth you have,’ she says. And then he answers things like, ‘All the better to eat you with, my dear’.”
“This story does not sound appropriate for younglings.”
“A lot of fairytales aren’t. The point is my father has tried to pound it into my head to stay on the path for my safety…hispath. According to him, straying is dangerous. He used to tell me that story over and over again, to make me afraid of the Big Bad Wolf.” I crawl forward on my hands and knees. “You’re my Big Bad Wolf, Lutan.”
“I have not made you stray from any path. I’ve tried to send you home, to safety.”
“I mean that I see right through this façade you wear, Lutan. I wear men’s clothing to hide myself on the streets, but you wear another type of mask. You push me away to protect yourself.”
“I wish to protectyou, Lexi. Those closest to me end up dead.”
“Pushing me away isn’t the answer, for either one of us. Will I be in more danger being with you? I doubt it, but I’m not seeking physical protection. That doesn’t mean I’m a thrill seeker either. I’d like to live in a safe world where I don’t have to dress up and hide who I am, where I don’t have to get a gun that ends up not working. I strayed from the safe path years ago. Safe is…”
“Boring?” he offers.
“Soul-crushing. I cannot fulfill my father’s destiny for me. To stay under his control, marry someone he thinks is appropriate, and live like a caged bird so I’ll be safe. Even a gilded cage is still a cage. And cages don’t equate to safety. Consider a canary going into a coal mine. The bird’s in the cage, contained, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe. Far from it. It’s trapped, vulnerable.”
“You think I can help you escape the cage your father’s built?”
“I’m not looking to escape. Not fully. I enjoy analyzing data, helping my dad find the solutions he needs, but I don’t want to live in a cage. I want to carve my own path, experience life on my terms, even though that means facing danger in a less-than-perfect world.
Lutan cups my cheek, his hands warm and reassuring. “Speak with him. Tell him what you need.”
I need you, I think as Lutan’s arms circle me and I lean against his chest. Except I don’t have the courage to tell him.
Maybe I’ll be able to say it the longer he holds me. In his arms, all my anxiety melts away. I release a breath I’ve been holding in for thirty-one years.
“Talking to my dad is not as easy as talking to you. He has a way with words that twists what a person’s saying.”
