Page 50 of Hidden By the Convicts
“Harlis could give you chemicals to clear the path faster and more permanent,” Gavin said as they approached Bowen.
“Then I wouldn’t have anything to take my frustration out on.” Bowen swung the machete one last time, leaving it stuck in a tree to emphasize his point. Teagen startled, instinctively stepping away.
Bowen’s face fell. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”
Gavin’s hand landed on the small of her back to keep her from backing up farther. She loved having his hand there. It felt safe, like when Harlis stood behind her.
“Go, darling. Make your peace with Bowen,” Gavin urged as he nudged her forward.
One step turned into two, confidence rising as Bowen’s eyes locked on her. There had been a time not too long ago when she would have been afraid of a man looking at her like that, but she knew Bowen better now. He was mad at himself as much as her.
“I broke my promise, didn’t I?” he said.
She more than saw the sorrow in his face. Shefeltit.
“You’ve protected me. I was the one who took the risk. And I’d do it again, Bowen. You needed the help. I couldn’t just hide away and let them hurt you again.”
“And I repaid you by yelling at you.” He scrubbed his face. “I scared you. That’s the last thing I wanted to do, Teagen.”
She took one last step into Bowen until her body was against his and she circled her hands behind his neck. “It’s Teagen with two ‘e’s to you, Bowen. Or T, for short.”
He released a breath he had been holding. “How can you ignore what I did? I chewed you out.”
“You have every right to be mad at me. I assumed that since the harvesters were in the open, you’d say no about me fixing them, so I didn’t ask. I never gave you a chance to discuss it even. And I risked more than myself. I risked the entire unit.”
“If I had done my job and made you feel like a part of our unit, you would have been comfortable speaking up. Forgive me?” he asked, still not making a move to touch her.
“If you forgive me, too,” she said as she threaded her fingers through his hair at the base of his neck.
When she brushed her lips over his, he said, “I’m filthy, T.”
“Then, maybe we should finish our discussion in the shower.”
Bowen’s face relaxed in a way she hadn’t seen for some time. He cared about her enough to fear she’d stay mad at him.
“We’ll figure this out,” Bowen said as he kissed her back. “Just promise me no more sneaking off, no matter the reason. We’re a unit, which means we watch out for one another. We have to work together, to keep you safe.”
“And you,” she said.
The edge of his mouth curled. “And me. This was my fault ultimately, for not making you understand you have a voice among us.”
“Hey, Gavin, you were right. He found a way to blame himself,” she joked as she turned to Gavin. Except Gavin wasn’t there. Once again, he’d disappeared, leaving her to feel like he had taken a part of her with him.
“Weeks ago, he kissed me back at the house, saying he’ll never kiss me again, and now he disappears on me. What’s wrong with me that he keeps running away from me?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, T. Gavin is unsure of himself.”
“What are you talking about? He’s very confident.”
“Not when it comes to you. He doesn’t think he’s good enough.”
“That’s—”
“Absurd? Ridiculous?”
“Yes,” she said.
“Maybe you should tell him that. He doesn’t believe me.”
