Page 34 of Hidden By the Convicts
“He inferred. He also said you’d consented.”
“I was scared.”
“I’ll kill Harlis.”
She placed her hand on his fist and eased his hand open, entwining her fingers with his. “You don’t understand. Harlis didn’t scare me, and I did consent. It was the thought of being with any man that terrified me. Then I realized I wasn’t with just any man. This was Harlis. A guy that went out of his way to make me feel special, to make me laugh and forget that I’m trapped on Narkos.
“And he promised I’d like it. I couldn’t imagine that, especially since no one had ever worried about making sex good for me. I wasn’t a virgin when I was attacked, so I knew what it was to be with a guy willingly, and there is a world of difference. My boyfriend certainly wasn’t right for me long term. He was selfish, cared only about his own pleasure, but he didn’t force or hurt me.”
The pads of her thumb traced over his jaw. “I trusted Harlis, in part because I trusted you when you said he wouldn’t hurt me. I want to be with you, Bowen. I think. . . I think I need this, maybe as much as you do.”
“You think? You need to be sure.”
“I want to get to know you better, but I just don’t know how I’ll react. I have flashbacks. A lot. Last night, while I was in the pit, just hearing Elkin’s voice practically paralyzed me.”
“He was one of the guards who assaulted you?”
She pulled back, but he caught the tears in her eyes. That’s when he realized what she was saying. Theyallhad assaulted her, passed her around like a toy.
He pulled her on top of him, where she wouldn’t feel trapped or dominated. She still wore a shirt, but he wouldn’t remove it. Whatever happened between them needed to happen at her pace, her direction, or she would never trust him.
As he brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm, he said, “If I do anything that scares you, you tell me, do you hear me, Teagen? You’re in charge here. You have total power over me. I’m at your mercy and I will obey your every whim.”
“You’ll obey me?” Her brows scrunched together. “That’s not what I remember you saying my first day.”
“I wanted you to obey me in matters of the unit. What we have to do to remain safe. But here, in bed, we’re equal, or we will be.”
“Meaning you’re still in charge.”
He pushed her hair past her shirt collar. “You need to see yourself as equal, T. I can’t give you that power. You need to take it, own it, and let no one take it away from you.”
She pushed off against his chest and sat up, straddling his waist, his cock striking her inner thigh. He kept very still, waiting to see what she’d do.
“I can’t lose what I don’t have, Bowen. Power is not something women have a lot of compared to men.”
He tapped her chest. “In here, you have all the power in the world. More than you realize.”
She squeezed his biceps. “I need some of these. True power.”
“Hell, Teagen. That’s why you have me. I’ll gladly be your muscle. And Harlis and Gavin too.”
“Do you always speak for them?” she asked, even as her face eased.
“Often enough. Unit leader here, remember?”
“And what happens if tomorrow or the day after I want to be with Harlis or Gavin, or even both?”
“I had four dads on Barlis. My mom got along with all of them, and if they were jealous, I never knew it. Maybe because they argued behind closed doors, or maybe because they were all good friends. I just know I never expected to have a woman to myself back home, and I certainly never expected to have a woman here. Who you are with is your decision, T. I don’t know if I’m right for you, but I’ll never intentionally hurt you. That’s all I can promise.”
“Oh, Bowen, I’ve never met anyone who was more right for me,” she said as she leaned forward and captured his lips. A moment later, he felt her warm, slick pussy gliding along his shaft.
As he promised, he let her take control. She needed to see for herself that she had all the power in this relationship.
Except this wasn’t a relationship. He’d do anything for her, but she wasn’t ready to believe him, or to trust him fully. He looked up at her sweet face and how she had started to exert herself.
She’d been rebuilding her confidence, slowly, and he hoped he didn’t destroy that. He cared about her. Truly cared about her.
Fuck. Hewasin a relationship.
