Page 96 of Taken By the Convicts
The sex was fast and almost brutal as he slammed her to the wall several times before her orgasm sent her spiraling down on a cock that never seemed to stop.
As she unhooked her ankles and slid off of him, he kissed her again. “I missed that. Being with you. In you.”
“And yet it feels like you’re mad at me. You’ve been quiet lately.”
He reached forward and shut the water. “You haven’t told me everything about what happened on Markov 4.”
“I did.”
“Then why am I alive?”
She grabbed a towel and walked away from Ivan. She’d never done that before, simply walked away from a person, especially one she cared about.
He caged her against the wall. “I want the full truth.”
“You always say that. When will you start trusting me?”
“Trust you? If you trusted me, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. You’re hiding something from me still, and I’m not sure why.”
“Because I don’t want you to know I screwed up. When I found out about the trial, I couldn’t stop it. I diluted the medicine in several of the IV bags, but I couldn’t get to all of them. I had only made it to four beds when someone spotted me. I was removed, locked up, and charged for sabotaging a trial.”
“You’re the reason I’m alive?” he asked, stunned. “You saved me, Melina. Why the fuck would you hide that from me?”
“Only four men, Ivan. I failed to save twenty. And I wasn’t fast enough to prevent long-term harm to the four I had saved. They’d already given you part of the treatment. If I hadn’t been late, I could have saved more. You wouldn’t be in constant pain because of me.”
She swiped at the tears, trying to forget how she’d willfully disobeyed Namir, which had led to a punishment. If she’d just done as Namir had asked, she would have made it to the med-center earlier, before the men had received that final dose.
“First, I couldn’t stop the trial and then I couldn’t help the men.”
He grabbed the back of her neck and leaned his forehead against hers. She wondered what he was feeling. . . if he hated her.
“You tried to save us and they lowered you to a Level 5. The fuckers don’t care about anyone. Not the soldiers, not the researchers. No one. There was a time when disobeying an order only resulted in Level 3. The Company’s getting worse. You didn’t kill anyone. At most, they should have lowered you to a Level 4 and sent you to Narkos or Kyth where you’d be earning your way back to freedom, not condemned to Veenith for the rest of your life. I’m sorry, my little bird. I wish I could fix this for you.”
“You don’t resent me?”
“I’m proud of you.”
Proud. No one had ever been proud of her, not since she lived with her parents. She hadn’t seen or heard from her brothers since her parents passed. All she’d had the past three years had been Namir, and she wished she could erase every memory, every scar he left on her soul.
“You haven’t gotten past Zev leaving,” Ivan said.
“What?” she asked, swiping at her tears. “No, this has nothing to do with Zev.”
Or did it? The people she cared about always seemed to disappear.
“You’re blaming yourself for everything, Melina, including things that are out of your control. You did your best that day. Soldiers go into battle knowing they won’t all return, that they may do everything right and still die or watch their friends die. You tried and saved four. That is a win, even if you couldn’t save everyone. As for Zev, I don’t know what to say, except you didn’t do anything wrong. Neither did Zev.”
“What do you mean?”
“He has a purpose on Veenith, and I don’t know what it is, but he left to protect you. It’s taken me a while to realize it, but I’m sure now.”
“Then get him back, Ivan. He’s out there alone, without anyone watching his back.”
“I haven’t seen him in days.” Ivan paused, hesitating. He released a deep breath. “He may already be dead.”
“Don’t say that!” she screamed at him, even as he pulled her tight against him.
“You need to forgive yourself, my little bird, for everything that is out of your control, including Zev.”
