Page 58 of Freedom Mine
“Look at me, Kayo.” He didn’t seem to hear her. She kept a light stick coiled around her neck, giving her all the light she needed to see the terror in his eyes when she leaned over him. His eyes darted from the walls to the ceiling.
“Kayo, look at me, nothing else.”
He closed his eyes for a moment, then ran his tongue over dry lips. “Can’t.”
“Then keep them shut and listen to my voice. Can you do that?”
“Yes. Maybe. I don’t know.” His eyes popped open again and his breathing accelerated.
“Do you know what I thought when you bought me, Kayo?”
He shook his head.
“Your body language was all wrong for an owner. You weren’t excited about gaining a new toy. You were mad. I thought you’d take your anger out on me. It happens sometimes.”
His hand rested on her knee. “I didn’t mean to scare you. That drekking slaver was jacking the price up, and I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Losing you to someone else.”
She took his hand in hers. “I didn’t know that. I didn’t know anything about you back then. That’s always the case when going to a new owner. You don’t know when, or why, or whether the next one will be better or worse than the last. You lose the people you knew, the routine you knew. Starting over always held danger and confusion, but the hope of escape too.”
“You tried to leave one night. I watched you from the woods.”
“But you didn’t try to stop me.”
“I wanted you to know you were free.” His eyes locked on her. “I couldn’t stop you.”
“Of course, you could. You own me,” she blurted out. She was starting to understand how much that bothered her now. Even though he said she was free and it was a matter of money to formalize her freedom, it bothered her that he had the power over her to do anything, ANYTHING, he wanted, and she could do nothing to stop it.
Suddenly the reason he’d stopped touching her in the kitchen made sense. She wondered if she had let him touch her, at least at first, because he owned her.
“You, this set up you have where you buy and free slaves, it’s very noble and very confusing at the same time. As a slave, I sought ways to defy my owners, but I knew my place just the same.”
“Defiance is key to staying sane, to keep from losing yourself.” He rubbed small gentle circles on her hand, his callused thumb warm against her skin as he focused on her now and not the tight space.
“That’s rather insightful for an owner.”
He winced, and immediately she regretted her words. He’d been a slave as well, but she continued to think of him as an owner, because, despite his past, heownedher.
Kayo didn’twantto own slaves.
“If I were a slave, would you feel differently about me?”
Would she? Probably. But that wasn’t the case, so it didn’t help thinking along those lines.
“I’m still getting used to the fact that you were a slave, and now you own slaves. I understand why, but it’s still hard to comprehend. How long have you lived here?”
“Eight years.”
“Then you remember what it’s like to be a slave.”
“I could live here a hundred years, and I’d still remember. It’s not something you forget.”
No, it wouldn’t be, and that was something she’d have to deal with in time too.
“This position I’m in, it’s not one I asked for, but I’m doing the best that I know how. I could buy chips on the black market, ones with freedom status already coded, but those are dangerous. Some black market vendors embed viruses in the chips so the chips revert to slave status after days or weeks. Then the vendors track down the slaves and claim them as their property. Or collect the bounty for returning the slaves to their rightful owners.”
