Page 20 of Protected By the Convicts
She reached down and played with her clit, and the sensations from her ass spread to her pussy, making every part of the experience with Ren so much more intense. The orgasm struck, sending a white-hot fire through her just as she heard Ren curse under his breath. He held his cock inside her ass, pulsing as he spilled into her.
“I need to get you some birth control, so I can fuck that pussy of yours,” he said as he eased out of her.
“That didn’t stop you the last time,” she said as she adjusted to the loss of him, the instant sense of emptiness that overtook her. She regretted the words the moment they left her mouth.
He turned his back to her.
“I’m so sorry, Ren,” she said, grabbing his arm before he could walk away. She held no ill will toward him, and yet she’d lashed out at him for no reason.
She tugged him until he sat on the edge of the bed. His face was grim, not at all light and playful like before.
“If I had known. . . I wouldn’t have touched you,” he said. “All the times I’d seen Sersie high, I never saw him. . . Well, I guess he wouldn’t get sexual like that with no women around. I just. . . Fuck, Hannah. I wanted you so bad for a while that I wasn’t thinking straight.”
“It’s okay,” she said, resting her chin on his shoulder as she hugged him from behind. “None of it was your fault. Everyone knows that, including me. I had a flashback for a moment, and the words spilled out.”
“You’re having flashbacks?”
She could swear she heard his voice shake. “Yes, but I never see your face. It’s always. . .”
“Say it,” he demanded.
He thought she feared him. He had it so wrong. “ It’s always Griggs pushing into me, terrifying me. That day on the dais, Ren, I still have nightmares about him, about what would have happened had Ky’Li lost. That time with you, I felt out of control then too, before you ever touched me.”
“Griggs. . . that animal,” Ren said with such hatred in his voice that she whimpered.
Ren’s face softened immediately. He still didn’t get it. She told him this because she felt safe with him, not threatened.
“What if the miners come for me again? What if they break into the fence next time and Sersie’s not here, or any of you?” All of her fears started pouring out. She could tell Ky’Li any of this, but then he’d be inclined to restrict her to the house, barricaded and protected from the deadly prisoners of Narkos. But she refused to be trapped. She was already condemned to a prison planet for the rest of her life, she’d be damned if she let anyone, including her men, take what little freedom she had left.
“Why haven’t you said any of this before?”
“I’m scared, Ren. All the time.”
He twisted his torso and pulled her into him. “There are no guarantees here, Hannah, but I won’t abandon you again.” He rested his cheek against hers. “I know what it is to have no control. Every time I get close to finally gaining some control over my life, it gets ripped away from me.”
She hugged him tighter. “You’ll make it out, Ren. I’m sure of it.”
He kissed her cheek. “We both will. Together.”
Hannah stilled. She wasn’t leaving Narkos. Ever. But he and the others didn’t know that. They thought she was a Level 4, like them, that when her ten years were up, she’d be upgraded to Level 3 and permitted to return home. That wasn’t going to happen though, not for her. But one day, Ren and the others would leave. She wouldn’t let Dresden continue to add unjustified years to their sentences any longer.
“Hey, where’d you go?” Ren asked.
“Just thinking.”
“About me?” he lifted his brows up and down rapidly, following with a grin.
“Of course,” she offered, throwing in a smile so he wouldn’t know how terrified she was of losing him and the others. She needed to distract him. “Do you like kids, Ren?”
“What?”
“You mentioned not fucking me until I have birth control.”
He captured her mouth one last time, giving her a kiss similar to the one that landed her in bed with him last night. That stupid, cocky grin of his surfaced, making her feel all squishy and giddy inside. God, his face beamed with joy, happiness. This was not the same man who was so crushed by the destruction of his ship. And yet he was ignoring her question.
“Please don’t shut me out again,” she said, hoping he’d finally let her in.
He shrugged as he grabbed his shirt from where it had landed on the floor earlier. “I’m not sure I’m ready to resign myself to living here, but if I’m going to be stuck here, at least I can have a life with you. But no, I don’t want kids.”
