Page 73 of Hayden's Haven
“Loyal when it’s convenient for you. Is that it?”
“Nothing about this situation is convenient. If Drake came after you or anyone, I’d defend them with my life, even if it means Drake’s death. But I will not challenge him.”
“You can beat him. I know you don’t think you’re strong enough, but you are.”
“This won’t work. Just like a shifter war won’t work. But you can’t see it, Damien, because as usual, you don’t value my opinion. You ask if I’m loyal to you, if I believe in you, I have and always will be, but that’s more than I can say about you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“You’re not much better than the rest of this pack. You say you believe in me, but in the back of your mind, you’re always wondering if you did the right thing in accepting me into the pack, in making me your second. You don’t think I’m stronger than Callen or even smart enough to hold the position should something happen to you. But the worst part is that you don’t trust me, you never have, not fully at least.”
“What the fuck, Hayden? What’s possessed you to think let alone say that? I’ve always trusted you. I’ve known you a long time, since before you killed Logan and Drake branded you a traitor.”
“Is that why you dismiss me from every summit you’ve had with Drake and Liam or any fucking discussion you’ve had regarding Drake? As if it’s not hard enough dealing with the stares and the comments from this pack, from shifters who know nothing about what really happened, you exclude me from so much around here. I’m your second for fuck’s sake, Damien! I should be privy and involved in every aspect of this pack! You undermine my credibility when you don’t trust me enough to include me in those meetings.”
Mila came up behind him, placing a soothing hand on his back, but he didn’t want soothing. He shrugged her off of him and stepped closer to Damien who was standing in a defensive position, as if he expected Hayden to strike.
“You’re wrong,” Blade said as he rose from where he had remained seated in the kitchen. He didn’t think the shifter was talking to him these days. “Damien kept you out of those meetings to protect you.”
“Enough, Blade,” Damien said, swiftly turning around to silence him.
“Finish it, Blade. Damien certainly won’t tell me. He’s too used to keeping me in the dark.”
“Drake’s been trying to get to you for years. Callen’s stopped shifters sent over the border to kill you, multiple times. And every time Drake is here, we see how he says and does everything he can to belittle you. We see how it affects you, Hayden, all of us. You’re not yourself when Drake’s name comes up. Like now. Accusing Damien of not respecting you, of nottrustingyou. . .That’s not you talking. Not the you that we normally see.
“You know I’ve had my issues with this pack, probably always will, but I have to tell you, brother, when it comes to Drake, you cannot be objective. You need to step away and trust us. We’re not your brothers by blood, but we’ll die for you, each and every one of us.”
Damien stood halfway between the two but said nothing as his focus returned to Hayden, waiting for him to speak. The next move was his apparently. Blade was right, he couldn’t be objective when it came to Drake. Even now, a haze of anger covered his emotions and fueled his desire to strike out at someone. He wasn’t even sure if that someone was Drake at this point.
Mila slipped her hand into Hayden’s and squeezed, tempering the anger. He didn’t push her away, he couldn’t. He needed her too much. And he was too tired, too emotionally drained to think straight. He couldn’t reconcile his loyalty to these shifters to the loyalty that still remained deep inside him for his brother.
After a long stretch of silence, Damien closed the gap between them. His stance had relaxed. This was Damien the best friend now, not Hayden’s alpha.
“This pack believes rumors and stories they’ve made up over the years, Hayden, because you’ve never told them what happened. I’ve never needed to know the full story because I know you. But the rest of them, you’ve never given them a chance to really know you.”
Did he even care what the shifters here thought about him at this point? Mila’s hand in his gave him part of his answer. He cared about what she thought, and truth be told, what Damien, Blade, Callen, Frank, Aloe, and Pryce thought as well. And the women who’d come into their lives. Mason and his mate, Takara, the one shifter in Damien’s pack who Hayden had known from childhood, the only other person in this whole damn pack who knew what it was like living in Hayden’s birth pack. Abbie. . . she’d always been one of the sweeter shifters he had dated, one that didn’t seem to be after him because he was a strong shifter. Maybe Ferguson too. He had gone out of his way to get Mila and Anna’s lab done on time and on spec. Maybe Damien was right.
“Maybe you can tell Anna for me.” Hayden took a deep breath. “I’m sorry for what Drake did to her. And for when I called her Reina. Reina was very special, to both of us.”
“She was special to a lot of shifters,” Damien added. “And Anna looks a lot like her. It was an understandable slip of the tongue.”
“I overreacted,” Blade added. “And I should have returned after I got Anna away from the mob forming.”
Hayden nodded, appreciating the words and the sincerity behind them.
“I think that’s why Drake took her,” Hayden said. “I never said anything before because of everything going on with the WSSO. I had hoped it was Anna’s ties to the WSSO and not her resemblance to Reina that caused Drake to take her. Because if it was her resemblance, well, that would have meant Drake really had gone crazy, and I wasn’t ready to accept that.
“Why Reina?” Damien asked. “What was she to Drake?”
“Reina and Drake were to be blood-bonded. He was madly in love with her, and he blames me for her death.”
“How did she die?” Mila asked, her voice soft beside him. She had never let go of his hand. That gave him the strength he needed to continue. He had held onto the story long enough.
“Logan,” Hayden said.
“Always Logan,” Damien growled the alpha’s name. “My father should have killed him when he’s had the chance. You were right to kill him, Hayden.”
“See, that’s just it. I never intended to. I cared for Reina, too, though I wasn’t in love with her. I tried to tell her to leave, that Logan was unstable and being anywhere near him wasn’t safe. I saw the way he had been watching her, like a cat watches a mouse. He’d already killed Lacey, his blood-bonded mate, not that I could ever prove that. Lacey simply disappeared one day without any alarm being raised or Logan searching for her. Reina wouldn’t listen to my warnings. She thought I was jealous of Drake being the alpha heir. She thought being Drake’s intended would protect her. A day or two after that conversation, I heard her screaming. By the time I got to her, she was dead. Logan had killed her.
