Page 112 of Callen's Captive
Chapter Twenty-Three
KATE
She simply wasn’t ready to move into one of the cabins designated for mated couples. Last night with Callen had been fabulous, and he’d made a promise to her, one she now questioned. He said he wouldn’t let her go, ever, but people made promises like that all the time, especially during or after sex, or so she had heard.
As if receiving a promise in the middle of sex didn’t make her question her future, that edginess returned the next morning. These damn woods were fraying her nerves. The cool chill that hung in the air, the scent of pine, and the way the trees towered over everything, shutting out the only world she had ever known, were choking her. The thought of sharing a space on the floor with Callen in a cabin with a bunch of shifters she didn’t know had sent her body into such a frenzy during the night she had broken out into hives. Callen’s touch had calmed her, and the hives disappeared soon after, but she could take a hint from her body. Stay away from the others, leave the woods, do whatever it takes to get away. . . That’s what her body was telling her.
Callen refused to sleep another night apart from her. His remedy had been to commandeer a tent, permanently. Apparently, no one would dare take a tent from the pack’s enforcer. He said he’d keep her warm. Convenient for him that she’d have to curl up naked beside him for that to work. Truth be told, she kind of benefited from that, too.
Kate’s hands dug into the snow at her side. Her chest felt tight, and she took long deep breaths. She’d been sitting there long enough that her butt had surged past wet to frozen.
“Focus on something you like. Like blowing me,” Callen said as he drew small circles on her back, trying to help her through the panic attack. They were sitting in the snow, half- way between where Callen had pitched their tent, by a rock face to cut down on the wind, and the cabins in the main part of camp.
“Not helping,” she said between breaths, though she couldn’t help but grin at his latest technique for distracting her. Going down on her in the tent was her personal favorite to date.
It took another five minutes before her breathing returned to normal. As long as she looked at something other than the trees surrounding them, she’d be fine. Except that’s all there was in the middle of Nowhere, USA. . . trees, trees, and more trees.
“Feeling better?”
“My butt’s frozen.”
“I know a good way to warm it.” He waggled his brows.
God, how she wanted to laugh, but she couldn’t. “I can’t do this, Callen. I keep telling you, I can’t live here, but you’re not listening.”
Her panic attacks had increased in number and severity. Now her skin was itching on top of everything else. First, she felt like she was having hot flashes, and now it felt like ants were crawling all over her. Everything about being in these woods sucked. Except the part about being with Callen.
Callen was sitting in the snow beside her, still rubbing her back. “We have to find the right combination of relaxation exercises for you. Massages seem to help.”
“What about when you leave me? What will I do then?”
He had the most stunned look on his face. “Why would I leave you?”
She shrugged. People left. It’s what they did. He would have left her had she not slept with him; he had declared his intentions that night. Then she’d beaten him to it, leaving before he could leave her, which didn’t say much about either one of them when it came down to it.
“The blood-bond is a unification, a joining of souls.”
Ceremonies didn’t keep people from leaving. “Pretty words and all, but—”
“Not just words, Kate. Don’t you feel the bond between us?”
She shook her head. She felt the same as she always had, except with the added heat that seemed to be a constant burn within her these days, especially when she became all too aware of the surrounding trees.
“You don’t feel any different?” he asked again, clearly disappointed. “For me, it’s like a small window into your soul. Right now, with that window cracked open, I can sense your desire and your anxiety.”
“This bond isn’t permanent, is it? I mean, it would hurt you if we separate?”
His arm around her tensed and he fell quiet for a long time. Everything Callen said sounded so permanent. She didn’t do well living by others’ rules, and she certainly couldn’t see herself stuck in these woods long-term. That didn’t mean she was planning to leave him. Far from it. There was a good chance he’d leave her though. It’s not that Callen would try to hurt her, but everyone she had ever cared about had left her. It was just something that happened. If he left—when he left—she’d have to deal with the fallout, the emotional and blood-bond type.
The yellow in his eyes flared for a brief moment before disappearing. This was a man who was in control of himself so often, and yet she seemed to push his limits, without meaning, too.
“You, Kate Whittaker, are my mate, blood-bonded to me. There is nothing you could say or do that would make me love you any less. I will always be there for you, no matter what. Is that clear?”
Love? Did he really say that?She blew out a breath, and somehow managed not to choke up at the magnitude of what he had said. Did he evenknowwhat he just said? Of all the things. . .
Callen offered his hand, and she let him pull her up. They brushed off the snow and headed toward the center of camp where the breakfast table would be set up.
“I have an idea. About Drake,” Kate said as they walked.
