Page 109 of Callen's Captive
Her panic attacks had been increasing, along with the nightmares. She didn’t belong in the woods. It’s why she never removed her backpack. Keeping the backpack on while fishing was part of the reason she had such trouble casting the net properly, but that backpack gave her a sense of calm. His mate didn’t feel safe here. At the warehouse she’d been able to put the backpack down and walk away from it, but not here. And there was nothing Callen could do to help her.
“I know you’re up there watching me,” Kate said without turning around. “If you have something to say, then say it already. You’ve been following me around for days, and it’s stressing me out.”
He stepped out from behind the tree but didn’t approach. His wolf didn’t understand what was happening, why he wasn’t holding her, comforting her, sinking into her flesh and becoming one with her. Callen wasn’t sure he understood it either.
“You’ve been having nightmares.” He wished Hayden were here. The shifter had a way with words and could advise Callen on what to say to help him reconcile with Kate. Damien was as clumsy at this stuff as he was. Callen, Frank, Pryce, and Alex were lucky Tess had taken pity on his sorry ass and blood-bonded him or they would be stuck with Damien in their cabin, listening to him snore all night. Callen would much rather be with Kate, holding her through the night, especially if she wasn’t sleeping well.
“Who told you? Aloe?”
Callen had heard Kate screaming in her sleep. The whole damn camp did, but no one knew how to help her. He’d approached Aloe, asked if he could stay in their cabin. Aloe had turned him away with a promise that she’d sit with Kate when she woke screaming. Even when Kate quieted down again, he lay awake in his cabin, seeing images of what Briggs had done to her. Her cries pierced his soul each and every time she had a nightmare.
“I don’t know what to do anymore. I thought staying away from you would make adjusting easier. But you seem more miserable than ever.”
“That’s because I’m useless here and being useless sucks.”
She was far from useless. Learning to fish and acquiring the skills to live here would take time, but he understood why she didn’t feel as if she’d ever fit in here. She had learned to fight for herself, to fight for others, not sew and fish. Although both skills were necessary for the survival of the pack, they’d never give Kate the same sense of fulfillment she got from fighting the WSSO.
Tired and dejected, Kate gathered the net and returned to camp with no fish to show for her efforts. Callen fell into step beside her. That tingle he felt in his chest whenever he was near started. It felt like a thread that wrapped around every organ, pulsing with tension, anxiety, sheer and utter panic—Kate’s emotions. The strength of the bond between blood-bonded pairs differed, but usually each shifter could feel his or her partner’s emotions, at least to a small degree. Right now, Kate was completely on edge, despite how well she hid it from the rest of the pack.
As they neared the first of the cabins, Kate stopped. Callen eased the net from her and set it down against the cabin.
When he wove his fingers through her hair, her lips parted. He kissed her. Gingerly, her tongue glided along his lips. His hand was resting on her hip by the time she ended the kiss. It was a slow kiss filled with longing and confusion.
“I can’t do this, Callen.”
“You, my dear Princess, can do whatever you set your mind to.”
“I can’t live here. My heart is racing all the time, I’m warm even when the temperature drops, and it always feels like the damn trees are closing in. I can’t breathe here.”
Her breathing had picked up in the few minutes he’d been with her. He’d hoped her panic attacks would ease with time, but they were getting worse.
“I screwed up, Kate. I thought you’d be safe from the WSSO here, and you’d adjust in time.”
“Life is about more than safety.”
When he’d found her, she was simply surviving, not living—but living that way had been her choice. She could have used the money she’d stolen from the WSSO to go anywhere in the world, buy a house, travel, do anything she wanted. Maybe that was the point. She had been doing exactly what she wanted, and he’d stolen that from her.
“I was wrong to bring you back with me.”
“Then why did you?”
He cupped her cheek. “I couldn’t lose you, Kate. It was selfish and even now, despite how miserable you are, I know I’d do it all over again.”
* * *
“You told her what?”Frank asked.
“That I’d do it all over again,” Callen said.
“Oy.” Tess said nothing more, she didn’t have to, given her expression. Callen felt like he was ten years old again when he’d poked the bear he’d found, literally. He had heard the expression ‘don’t poke the bear’ and had wanted to see what would happen if he did just that. His father had pulled him away before the bear could do any real damage, and then he’d had to sit in the kitchen listening to his father lecture him on avoiding bears. His mother had had that same look Tess had now—the one that said he couldn’t have done something more stupid if he had tried.
Frank was about to slap the back of Callen’s head when Callen warned him off with a glare and a growl. Frank quickly lowered his hand.
“Sorry. I miss Blade. Haven’t had anyone to hit in weeks.”
Callen knew the feeling. “Any word from Hayden?” he asked Damien, trying to change the subject. Pryce tossed two more pieces of wood onto the bonfire. Tess was sitting on Damien’s lap on one log while Callen and Frank shared another. Every time Callen saw how happy Tess was with Damien, he couldn’t help but feel jealous. Kate barely looked at him.
“Nothing new. Drake’s been quiet.” Damien poked at the fire with a long stick. “How are the patrols doing?”
