Page 57 of Blade's Battle
“How could you think—”
“Then why won’t you consider being with me? I know I’m not Kurt, but I’ll do everything I can to make you happy.”
There was complete silence and definite crying muffled by a pillow. The hole in his soul increased with every sob that left her throat. She thought a mere pillow could drown out the sound, but his ears picked up every shudder of her breath and body. His Anna, his Angel, was hurting, and he didn’t know how to help her.
* * *
ANNA
Anna shoved her face into the pillow to cry. She couldn’t let Blade hear or see her like this. Finding her house trashed and all her possessions gone was a shock, but it didn’t affect her as much as she would have thought. It seemed more of a sign than anything, a sign that it was time to put that part of her life behind her and move on. When Griff had asked her where she wanted to go, only one answer came to mind. Blade.
During the four day hike, her courage had faltered and by the time Griff and Daaven had handed her over to one of Damien’s patrols, she realized what a stupid mistake she had made in coming here. She wasn’t sure Blade would want to see her after how they had parted, and her very presence endangered Damien’s entire pack.
Now she was here, in Blade’s cabin, laying against his pillow where his scent was strong, comforting, and a reminder of what she couldn’t have. She was so tired that falling asleep would have been easy until he asked that one question,‘Why do you hate me so much?’All the emotion and turmoil inside of her suddenly welled up into one huge ball of hopelessness. She barely had time to shove her face into the pillow to mute her crying, so he wouldn’t hear her.
A hand caressed her back. Anna stilled. As she debated if she should leave the cabin or keep her head buried in the pillow, he slid her hair to the side and kissed right behind her ear. She stilled, unsure of what to do.
Blade pulled her into his lap. Anna felt like a boneless mess, a mere shadow of the woman she had once been as she melted into his embrace and let her head rest against his bare chest. “I can’t, Blade, I just can’t. I can’t do it again.”
She didn’t know how long she rambled on and on, or even if he could understand half of what she was saying through her tears. As if being a crying mess wasn’t enough, she started hiccupping. And Blade started laughing.
“It isn’t funny.” She swatted at his chest and tried to pull away. “I need to go.”
He locked his arms around her. “You’re not going anywhere. You came back here when you could have easily hopped on a plane and escaped Drake’s reach. Now that you’re here, don’t expect me to let you go.”
She shook her head. “I was blood-bonded to Kurt. And he died because of it.”
“Or maybe it was his destiny. Or maybe if he had stayed with his pack, a bear would have killed him, or a plane crash. You’re not responsible.”
“I’m afraid.”
He ran his hand down her hair. “At some point, you need to let yourself live again. Don’t you think Kurt would want that for you?”
It was odd thinking about what Kurt would want for her as she lay there in Blade’s arms, and yet the way Blade spoke so openly about Kurt was freeing. He wasn’t threatened by her past with Kurt, not that he should be. Blade was funny, sweet, gentle, smart—a wonderful shifter, and she’d be lucky to have him. She was the one with the issues, not Blade.
Blade’s lips gently kissed her forehead, and he cocooned her with his body as he leaned back on the bed. His heart was beating, steady, strong. He was strong in so many ways.
“You’re perfect for me, Anna, so don’t even try to convince me otherwise.”
She didn’t want to convince him otherwise. She wanted him to hold her tight and never let go. What she wanted rarely came to true. If it had, Kurt would still be alive.
But then she never would have met Blade. Suddenly, she felt torn between Kurt and Blade. She buried herself against Blade’s chest, unable to meet his eyes.
“I’m human.”
“Really? I hadn’t noticed. I thought you were stumbling through the dark because you have two left feet.”
His humor would normally cheer her, but not now, not when being in his bed, resting in his arms, felt so undeniably right. It couldn’t be right though. Nothing about this situation was.
Then his hand began caressing her arms, her cheek. His touch held pleasure, security, and a sense of peace she hadn’t known in a long time. Anna closed her eyes, knowing she should leave, but she couldn’t make herself go.
* * *
BLADE
Blade woke in his bed with a start. Anna no longer lay nestled in his embrace where she’d fallen asleep the night before. His bed was empty and cold. He’d have to have a talk with her about this tendency of hers to get up and leave him before he woke. Sleeping beside her had been the most restful sleep of his life, but waking up and finding her gone incited fear of the worst kind.
He’d have to get over his insecurities and help her get past her own as well. The chance of something happening to him while he was in the prime of his life was remote, even with the WSSO actively targeting shifters. But she had lived through the horror of losing a blood-bonded mate.
