Page 83 of Blade's Battle
“I’m falling for you, and if you come with us, I’m afraid this connection between us will turn into something more. Something I can’t handle.”
It was a good thing she was leaning into him because the concern on his face made her knees buckle.
“I want to be there for you, Anna.” He kissed her. The kiss was short, as the voices of other shifters gathering by the lake for the run caused her to pull away. As brief as it was, that kiss was all Blade. Full of heat and heart.
She didn’t need words at this point. She understood what Blade wanted.
The problem was, she wanted it too.
“You have a delightful way of distracting me, which is why you shouldn’t come with us. I need to focus on my research. I’m going to help both you and Tess. I have to.”
He swept her hair out of her eyes. “Focus on Tess, not me.”
“You don’t believe I can stop you from going feral,” she said, hurt.
“Oh, I know you can. You will solve anything you set your mind to. But you’re too close to this, to me. Research can take a long time, you’ve said so yourself. If I can’t hold on that long, you’ll blame yourself.”
“No, I won’t.”
“You blame yourself for Kurt, don’t you?”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Anna. . .”
“Fine, yes! Except this time will be different. I’ll succeed. I have to!”
With the pad of his thumb, he wiped the tear from her cheek. “No, Angel. You don’t have to do anything, except forgive yourself for a tragedy that was beyond your control.”
“That’s not so easy,” she said, barely above a whisper.
Blade kissed the top of her head he understood what she needed at that moment. No pressure. Just support.
“And that’s exactly why you’ll focus on Tess and the other shifters who survive the virus. There’s no rush for them. Even if she completely loses her shifter abilities, her condition isn’t terminal. You have all the time in the world to solve the problem. My time is more limited.”
“Which is why—”
“Which is why you are the last person who should be working on it. Whether we blood-bond or not, Anna, you’re too close to me. You’re personally involved, Angel, and I don’t regret that in the least. But it’s the reason you can’t work on this feral issue.”
“I’m the only one who can work on it!”
“Perhaps, but not now, not with me. I found you, Anna, and I don’t want to lose you. I certainly won’t put you in a position that you blame yourself if and when I go feral.”
If?He was already in the process and the only unknown variable at this point was how long he could maintain control over his wolf. But they both knew the outcome. Eventually, he’d lose to his wolf and go completely feral.
He petted her hair, calming her, by design she suspected. Or perhaps as a distraction. Either way, it was working. She didn’t want to fight with him.
“Are you sure you won’t run with us, Angel?” he asked, changing the subject. He would not linger on what was a clear-cut choice in his mind, nor would he strong-arm her.
“Not much of a runner,” she replied, as she wiped away the last of her tears. Her brain kept returning to the problem of his going feral. She could work on the feral problem without him knowing. He’d never know. She would be working on Tess’s issue after all. Same lab, same equipment. Her research notes would use patient numbers, no names. He’d never decipher her notes, even if he was inclined to pry, which she couldn’t imagine him doing.
“Go. Run. Enjoy yourself. Be one with your wolf and your pack.” Her words came out clipped, as her thoughts had already returned to both research projects.
“I don’t need to run in wolf form to be with the pack.”
It would do him and his wolf a world of good to run with his pack, especially since it might be the last time he’d run with them. She couldn’t bring herself to say that last part.
“Liar,” she said, curling her smile so he’d know she was teasing. “You’re dying to run in wolf form. You haven’t shifted since you lost control to your wolf. And you don’t need me. You’ll have your pack to help you keep him under control.”
