Page 39 of Ace
I do love you, Keller,she thought.So much that it hurts. Even if you never love me in return, I’ll love you forever. I want you to stay.
“You okay?” he asked, breathing hard, his lips pressed to the side of her head.
She nodded, afraid to talk. Just as afraid to let go.
Chapter Eighteen
He couldn’t make his arms relax. He couldn’t bear to let Savannah go. Keller was no idiot. He knew she was crying, but he didn’t know why. Empathy never supplied all the answers. Just more questions. What he’d done was inexcusable. If he’d hurt her, he’d never forgive himself.
What the hell was he thinking? Short answer, he wasn’t. Yeah, that about summed it up. Like some horny two-bit asshat from the wrong side of the tracks, he’d been thinking of himself all along, and he knew it now. The quicker he got out of here, the better off she’d be. He’d call the local authorities and let the sheriff take it from here. He’d go back to DC and never step foot in Louisiana again. Hell, he never should’ve come here in the first place. This was all a mistake and—
“Can we do that again?” Savannah breathed as she licked his lips. Like a soft ray of sunshine, she droppedher head and kissed the center of his chest, then ran her nose up his neck, over his Adam’s apple until she ended at his mouth. Only then did she open her eyes. Yes, tears glistened on her lashes, but her bright smile lit the room.
He had to know. “I didn’t hurt you?”
Her brows lifted like two gentle arches. “A little at first, but then, wow. I never knew.” Creases replaced the furrows. “What’s wrong? Did you think—?”
“I just wanted to make it good for you,” Keller said as he pulled her flat against him, his palms splayed over her back, silently undone by the glow radiating off this woman. They were both sweaty and plastered to each other, yet he didn’t need the cool refreshment that separation would bring. He craved more light from that perfect glow. More contact. More everything.
Why anyone so pure would let him do what he’d just done, Keller truly didn’t understand. Yet he did. He knew. He could see the light of her heart sparkling in her eyes. He could feel the energy throbbing between them, transforming them into an entirely new, yet separate entity. Pulsing and warm, weaving them together, but not with threads of eternity. He knew better than that.
She thought she loved him. He could read that easily in her eyes, but this wasn’t love. He’d just been in all the right places at all the right times today, and Savannah wasn’t sophisticated. This was simply a schoolgirl crush on her part. Hero worship. Infatuation. Nothing more.
But he was no hero, nothing special at all. Yet his hungry heart argued with his hard head. What he’d hadwith Carol Marie had begun just as quickly. One look. One touch. Fire did that. Light a match and watch how fast an abandoned house burned to the ground. And he’d been abandoned most of his life.
Savannah nuzzled under his neck, bumping his chin with the top of her head in her delightful demanding way. “Umm, did you, umm…? Was it as good for you as, umm… it was for me?”
Keller lifted one hand from the lush comfort of her backside and cupped her jaw, needing to peer into those liquid brown windows to her soul when he answered. He tipped her head up until she met his gaze. “Savannah, you’re not just good,” he murmured as he planted a kiss to her forehead. “You’re…”You’re making me feel everything I’ve kept bottled up inside for years. You’re warm and sweet, and I’ll never deserve you. But right now it feels like you’re everything, and—what is wrong with me? You’re too good.“You’re perfect.”
She shrugged even as a peach blush stained her mocha skin. “I’ve never done this before. I just wanted to make it good for you, too, because, wow…” That smile again. “I think you just rocked my world.”
“Trust me, you did good. Real good,” he whispered as he drew her back under his chin, content for the first time in how long… Man, he couldn’t remember. If this was witchcraft, he was all in. A convert. A true believer. But he hoped it wasn’t. It’d be so much better if this were real.
They’d have to separate soon. He’d have to dispose of that condom. They’d have to get dressed. They’d haveto leave. But how he yearned for a better day and enough time to lay in bed, then take his time showering with Savannah. That’d be the perfect way to end this singular encounter. To feel her slippery skin as he washed her back and her front. Her long legs. Her bottom and every last one of her creases and curves. Her hair.
He’d lift her into his arms, press her back to the tiled wall, and he’d start all over again. Kiss her. Play with her. Mark her neck and her breasts with his mouth. Nibble on every delicious part of her. Lick her. Taste her. Make slow, easy love to her under a spray of warm water. He’d do things to her sexy body that she’d never known a man could do with a woman.
He’d watch tiny goosebumps burst all over her mocha skin when the water turned cold. Stay under the cold spray until she shivered and curled into him. Until her teeth chattered and he had to warm her up again. He’d take her back to DC and they’d—
Whoa! Just whoa. Stop the fairytale. You don’t really know this woman. Not like that. There is no love at first sight, you moron. It’s a myth, a lie two horny people tell themselves. Just. Stop.
Yet Keller couldn’t bring his hands to let her go. Savannah was sunlight incarnate, and he’d been in the dark for so long. He’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be warmed from the inside out. To be special. To maybe be that one in a million. To be the right guy. The only guy…
Like a fool, Keller closed his eyes, lost in the sensual delight of a woman he barely knew. Was this love? Hehonestly didn’t want to think about it. The only love he’d ever known had ended badly. He didn’t want to jinx whateverthiswas. All he knew was he couldn’t afford the pain of losing another gift so precious or so freely given.
Which proved he was now in some serious shit. The corners of his mouth curled at the paradox. No man worried about losing something he didn’t already have or desperately want. Yeah. No doubt about it. This thing with Savannah could be the real thing, and God knew he wanted it.Her.Finally. Lightning just might’ve struck twice.
“We need to get moving,” he whispered, letting Savannah go before he couldn’t.
Her arms tightened as she ran her nose up his neck and placed a soft, wet kiss on his chin. “If you say so, Secret Agent Man.”
“I say so,” he growled, his voice gruffer than he’d intended as the reality of what he’d just done to an innocent woman slapped the romance out of his hard head. There was no bathroom nearby. No way for Savannah to clean up. This was her first time and she might be bleeding. That was on him. What a bastard he was. Taking a young woman’s virginity in a barn. Could he have stooped any lower? Any creepier?
“You sound upset,” she murmured, still in his arms. Still snuggling and kissing his chin and headed for his mouth.
“You deserved better for your first time,” he told her sincerely. Instead of crushing her first afterglow, he sighed and gave her room to process what she’d justdone, so she’d come to her senses, too. Yet he still held on tight to what just might be precisely what—and who—he needed.
The dogs hadn’t made any noise lately. Which had to be probably, at the most, twenty minutes. Maybe not even that long. Man, he was an ass—
