Page 16 of Heston
He still moved like a panther, not wasting energy or time. But unlike the yellow-eyed beast of the Everglades, his eyes were a heart-stopping, beautiful liquid brown. As deep as a well, filled to the brim with rich, dark coffee. Still as hot. Still razor-sharp. Enhanced by thick black lashes that drew her attention to them when he blinked. She could’ve sat there and looked at him forever and never gotten her fill.
He’d doffed his cap, revealing a head nearly shorn of what she knew could be rich, lush black hair if he’d let it grow. Cool to the touch. Soft as a lamb. Its length seemed to dictate his soul. It was longer before he enlisted. He’d been a gentle lover and her best friend then. She’d told him everything. That was how it was for them. They finished each other’s sentences. Laughed together. Studied together. Made love together. In the shower. On the couch. The floor. That tiny breakfast table they’d dragged home from a yard sale. Every. Where.
But the day he came home with his hair cut high and tight, everything between them changed. Gone was her sweet, soft-hearted boyfriend. In his stead was a task-driven soldier with no patience. Prone to argue over the smallest things. Moody. Abrupt. Driven to be all he could be. Which was when everything went wrong. Well, not precisely then, but shortly after, as in the day she heard from the FBI.
“Guess what?!” she nearly shrieked the second Heston cleared his front door, she was so excited. She ran to him and jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. “Guess who hired me? Today! The FBI! I’m supposed to report for duty as soon as possible, no later than seven days from today! That’s one week, Hes! I’m going to be a bonafide federal agent! Can you believe it? Me? Working for Uncle Sam? I’ll be just like you!” Like a little girl at dance class, she performed a silly pirouette with her hands cupped over her head. She was so thrilled her hard work paid off. She was on top of the world!
“Can you believe that?” she asked again.
He just stood there in the doorway. Quiet. His eyes dark and—angry? “Not now, London.”
“Not now? Aren’t you happy for me?” She had to know. This was an important day for both of them. They’d be leaving Killeen, Texas, at the same time. He on to another deployment. Her to Virginia for months of training and drills and moreeducation. And yes! She’d finally be FBI Special Agent London Wilde. Her dream had come true. Life couldn’t get any better.
He shook his head. “Have you thought about the ramifications of you taking off for the East Coast? By yourself? Alone? Without me?”
“But we’ve talked about this. A lot. This was always my plan, to work for the Bureau. To do something that matters. You know that.”
“It’s dangerous!” he boomed, slamming the door behind him, then kicking it shut again when it bounced back and hit his rear-end. “I won’t have you putting yourself in harm’s way. Damn it, London. Not now.”
“Excuse me? You won’t havemeputting myself in harm’s way? What about when you deploy? It’s okay for you to risk your life, but I’m supposed to sit home and do what? Nothing? Sit on my thumbs? Wait for you to call or come home while I worry myself sick?” Her Irish spiked straight up her spine, stiffening her resolve. “Yes, now,” she asserted stubbornly. “We had a plan, and I’m sticking to—”
“Plans change. You’re not going. Period. The FBI is no place for a woman. Christ, London, look at you” —he did a Vanna White sweep of her body like she was a contestant’s prize instead of the only student who’d aced her criminal law class— “a hundred pounds soaking wet—if you’re dressed. You’re too beautiful. Too delicate. Who’s going to take you seriously? Tell me, huh? Who? Some cartel boss with a shiv up his sleeve? Some shyster who kidnaps little girls, then fucks them to death, little girls who look just like you? You’re a dreamer, London. You go, you’re a loser!”
She almost caved, because, well, Heston Contreras was the man of her dreams. The tall, dark, lean, and handsome man of her dreams. And he was smart, might even be right. Workingfor the FBI would be dangerous. Could be deadly. Just like his job was. She loved him.
But he’d gone too far and he’d been too harsh.
London dug her heels in and crossed her arms over her chest. “If I’m a dreamer, you’re a hairy ape with a brain the size of a pea.I’m going, Hes. Like we planned. If you—”
“No, London. I’m putting my foot down and telling you no. Should’ve done it a long time ago. Should never have let you take those online classes to finish your degree. No more narrow-minded excuses. Jesus, why can’t you stay home like other wives?”
That did it.
“Gee whiz, maybe because I’mnotanyone’s wife? And I’ve worked hard to get this job!” Now she was yelling, out of sheer exasperation. But damn it, what had gotten into Heston? Did he think he could boss her like he did the guys who worked for him? “They chose me, Hes. Don’t you know how big a deal working for the FBI is? I’m one of only a hundred applicants that—”
“I don’t care about them. I just care about you!”
And there it was. Total male domination wrapped up in a pretty pink bow of “I care.” Like a care package of suffocating guilt that stifled every last one of her dreams. Every last brain cell in her empty head. Made her feel guilty for wanting a career as much as he’d wanted to join the Army. She’d supported him then. Why couldn’t he support her now? Well, no more.
London took a deep breath to control her trembling. She swallowed hard to summon enough saliva to talk reasonably. And clearly. “It seems to me everything is always about you,” she said calmly. “What you care about. What you decide is best. I know you mean well, Heston, but you use that macho caring to make me feel guilty and to bully me into submission. Toget what you want. Don’t you understand how that minimizes me? How your need to control me negates my opinions? My dreams? I didn’t go to college all these years to back out now. Especially since you’re going to Ranger school in a few months. Then maybe Delta, right?” She had him there, and she knew it. Why should she stay safe there in Killeen while he marched out into the world and served the same country she wanted to serve?
“You heard me,” he growled threateningly. “I don’t have time for this tonight. Where’s dinner? I’m tired. I’ve had a really bad day. Enough.”
“But Heston—”
“I said enough!” He stalked for their bedroom.
Where he’d be sleeping alone for a damned long time. She was so, so angry. But she didn’t call him on his bullshit. Nope. Not this time. Maybe never again. He wouldn’t listen anyway.
She’d—they’d—had a plan. For years. And yes, plans changed, because now she knew she didn’t need any male dictating the rest of her life. He’d had enough? Well, she did, too. Quietly, she turned the knob to the door he’d slammed, and she left. Just walked away from the argument she couldn’t win, caught the bus to Austin, and from there, the only flight headed to the East Coast. It was time for her to be all she could be, too.
Look out world, here I come.
That was the last thought in her head that night. How London wished she could go back in time, morph into some dutiful, subservient, brainless, and submissive little housewife. Like the old black-and-white sitcom from the 1950s,“The Donna Reed Show.”Donna was the type of woman all men seemed to admire, and obedience was surely what they wanted in a wife. Someone complacent who sat around all day, dreaming how she could please her man when he got home from the office, like she was a slave or too dumb to do anything else. Someone who lovedto clean house in her chiffon dress. While she wore heels and smiled like a lunatic…
All. Day. Long.
Still wired from her latest rash decision that would most likely end with suspension or worse, being fired, London stretched a leg straight forward, fighting the urge to kick something—or someone. When the world came back into focus, Heston’s eyes were fixed on her. She swallowed hard, embarrassed he’d caught her watching him.
