Page 27 of Heston
London pulled herself up into her camper to get away from him. Stepping to the side, she waved them in and pointed to the angled door at their left. “Bathroom’s there. My bed’s up top over the cab.”And no, you’re not joining me, Hes.
She stabbed a finger at the queen-bed-sized nook over the extended cab of her truck and set the hot food Tom had given her on the counter next to the gas stove. “The high cupboards on the walls are bunks, not storage. Unlatch and use them to sleep. They might not be long enough for you guys, but whatever. I’m fixing soup and toasted cheese sandwiches. Oh, wait.”
She’d peeled back the foil on Tom’s offering. Hot damn. Chicken enchilada casserole covered with fresh chopped green onions, sliced black olives, and heaps of melted cheese. Yum. “Belay that menu. Chicken enchilada casserole coming right up. Heston, get your call made while I dish up. You guys are doing dishes.”
“Yes, ma’am!” Asher exclaimed, his coat and gloves already off and on his way into the tiny restroom. “Washing my hands. Be right out.”
Heston had yet to speak.
London turned on him ready to fight for herself, damn it. “You can’t keep acting like ‘Me Tarzan, you Jane.’ Tom’s a nice guy. He and his son were part of the Search and Rescue teams that looked for Kelsey. He’s the guy who pulled Alex out of that damn river. What is wrong with you?”
“I’m an ass,” Heston admitted quietly. “Can’t seem to help myself. I get over-protective when I see you with another guy, and I—”
“I’m not with another guy. I’m not with anyone. It’s embarrassing. Tom’s right. You act like you want to pee on everything you think you own. News flash, Ranger Rick. I don’t belong to you anymore. Not sure I ever did. You had your chance and you blew it. Now get out of my way so I can set the table. Go wash your hands!”
London couldn’t help herself. As mad as she was at Heston, man, she wanted him. Body and soul. Every kiss. Every breath. Any damned way she could get him. And with Asher in the bathroom—
They were still wearing their jackets and she had a weapon strapped under her left arm, but who cared? She jerked Heston into her face and opened her mouth and kissed the hell out of him. “What am I going to do with you? I can’t have you runningmy life, Hes,” she mumbled into his mouth while she devoured his lips and tongue.
“That’s the thing,” he mumbled back. “I can’t seem to breathe without you. I don’t want to. Not anymore.”
“Oh, Hes,” she grumbled, her fingers mapping those rock-hard shoulders, sliding under his parka, needing skin against skin. Body to body. The fire he’d always ignited in her belly roared out of control. She had food on her counter, but she needed more than physical sustenance. She needed this man. It had only ever been Hes, and damn him for ruining her for other guys. Because he had. And now, he was going to ruin her again, and break her heart, and—
“I can’t do this,” she whined, coming to her senses and pulling away. Out of his arms. Drawing back into herself, to save herself. Yeah, that was why she’d pulled back. Not because she was scared, but because she was smart. She’d learned her lesson. Hadn’t she?
But the devastation written all over his face? The bleak pain in his liquid-brown eyes? The way her decision slashed her own heart to ribbons? She hadn’t expected to get bitch-slapped for being smart. London clenched her fingers into fists to keep from putting her hands on this handsome, ruthless, terribly kind man again. She’d seen him with Kelsey and Alex. She, more than anyone else, knew the honorable, honest, and too loyal for his own good man Heston was.
But if she faltered now…
If she conceded the fight…
If she gave in and gave up…
Every inch of independence she’d gained would be lost.
“No more. I need to live my life, not yours.”
He nodded. “I understand. I do. And I’m trying. But it’s hard to walk away.”
She saw the shadow flit over his countenance. What he meant to say was,“Walk away like you did.”Damned if he wasn’t right. She had walked away. But she’d done what was best for her, and she’d do it again. “Sometimes a person has to walk away to save themselves. You can’t have it both ways. You get to live up to your potential, while I have to stand by and playDonna Reed.”
“Who?” His expression turned quizzically sad and still so damned sweet.
Instinctively, to comfort him, London cupped his scruffy cheek. The moment she touched him, her senses flared to life. Her nostrils sucked in every male pheromone shimmering in the air between them. Her pupils dilated and her focus sharpened, taking in every last detail of the man who had once been everything to her. The tiny laugh lines at the corners of his dark brown eyes. The thickness and curl of his sooty lashes. The black hairs of his brows, so perfectly curved, they looked like they’d been plucked. The sexy black scruff shadowing his chin and cheeks. Heston had always been lean and trim, and his body was pure marble. He’d always been cleanshaven, his hair, long or short, parted and combed. But the days-old scruff made him look deliciously dangerous.
She knew and loved how dedicated he was to his parents and country. She also knew how physically strong he was, that he’d never had a problem holding her full weight in the shower or against the wall—any wall—whenever the mood hit. There was no better lover than Heston Contreras. He was tactile and generous, always touching her in places she hadn’t expected to feel so good, pleasing her before he pleased himself. Understanding when she laughed or giggled through her orgasms. Tenderly cleaning her afterward. Holding her while she jabbered his ears off. Petting her. Whispering the sweetestnothings into her ear, into her hair. Into her heart. Until she fell asleep.
How often had they lain together, just hugging and holding, rubbing up against each other? Loving each other? She couldn’t begin to count all of those precious moments. Which was why she had to let him go now. Before she lost herself in him. Again.
“Nevermind who Donna Reed is. I can’t do this again. I won’t.” Her hand dropped from his face.
He took a full step back and released her, left her standing by the counter, swaying like an untethered kite in the wind. She hadn’t expected him to withdraw that easily or so quickly. London smacked a palm to the countertop to keep from falling and making a bigger fool of herself. She was dizzy, breathing hard, and wishing she could trust him again. Wanting to. Loving Heston had never been the problem. Loving herself enough to say no to him, was.
He stood there with his lips pursed, as if he were trying to control his breathing, too.
“You two are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever seen!” Asher roared from the bathroom doorway, startling London, making her jump. “Get a clue! Look at each other for once, why don’t you? Really look!”
London stared at Asher. Either he was uncharacteristically intuitive for a man and could see right through them, or Heston had talked. Which she found hard to believe. Heston was as loyal a man as she’d ever known. He didn’t gossip.
