Page 47 of Grissom
“A little to the left, honey,” Tuesday advised sweetly from below. “Not too far. Just a titch more—”
“Perfect! You did it! You done really good, Dad! It’s beautiful!” And there was Tanner, offering encouragement and praise, another lesson in overcoming toxic mothering.
“Yeah!” Luke yelled, as if his father were on top of the Himalayas, instead of on the twenty-foot ladder in the same room.
“Inside voices,” he reminded his rowdy boys.
“Let’s sing something!” Luke yelled again.
“Would it be okay if I put the ladder away first, maybe climbed down before we start singing Christmas carols?”
“Well, a’course, Dad,” Tanner chuffed. “Everyone knows you hafta get off a ladder before you can put it away.”
Sarcasm? That was new.
“Duh,” Luke chirped cheekily.
“Smart ankles,” Grissom growled as he climbed down backward.
“Lights. Action. Camera,” Tuesday said as—click. She pressed the master switch on the surge suppressor and turned on all those lights.
“Oh, wow. Miss Tuesday, look. It’s so pretty! I wub it!” Luke again, still clapping, his screaming, childish exuberance a thing of noisy beauty. Made a tough guy’s eyes water, seeing his boys excited over a damned tree. Not what Grissom needed as he levered the ladder’s legs back to release the tension on the spreaders, keeping it from folding.
“Be back in a minute,” he muttered, his voice husky, the ladder now collapsed and balanced on his shoulder, on its way back down to the garage.
“Hold up. I’ll help,” Tuesday offered, her taut ass already lifting up from the floor.
“No, stay here with my guys. I got this.” Well, kind of. At least, he managed to finagle the extra-long thing through the loft door and down the back stairs without marring the wall boardlike he did on its way up. Tonight was Christmas Eve and the first ever McCoy Christmas tree was up, lit, and no doubt visible from the dark side of the moon. Maybe from the East Coast, the thing had enough lights. But it was what the boys wanted, and Grissom was making sure they’d have the brightest tree in the world. To hell with Happy Holidays. This year, the McCoys were having the bestMerry Christmasever.
Back in the loft again, he lowered his ass to the floor and sat beside Tuesday. She tipped into his side with a quick kiss on his cheek. He wrapped an arm around her and held on tight. Tanner was sprawled under the tree with Luke, both on their backs, their legs kicked out, and giggling like two little bank robbers, staring up into pine branches.
“I saw him kiss her.” That was Luke, all giggles, shrugs, and whispers too loud for keeping secrets.
“She’s staying here tonight. With us. All night,” Tanner whispered back. “Dad likes her.”
“Me does, too.” Luke giggled, like the mischief-maker he could be. “I like her a lot.”
“I showed her my picture book and she liked it.” It was good to hear Tanner talking about his artwork again. She might not know it, but little by little, Tuesday was pulling him out of his funk.
Would he ever be the carefree toddler he’d been before? Grissom doubted it, and that weighed heavy on his mind. He’d failed the two people he loved most, the ones he should’ve protected. He blamed Pam for the harm she’d caused, sure, but he was responsible, too. He should’ve paid closer attention to what was going on at home when he was gone, and he never should’ve trusted her with the two most precious things in his life in the first place. Never should’ve believed a word out of her lying mouth. Hell, he never should’ve gotten himself into that jam in the first place. Not like he would change those mistakesnow, but shit. He was the world’s biggest dumbass for falling into that age-old trap of getting drunk to forget, which had also made him too drunk to remember. Her stealing that used condom was on him, and Grissom refused to deny it. He had no business condemning his dad for not standing up to his mother, either, not when he’d stayed in a loveless marriage as long as he had.
But shit, accepting Ms. Ashlee Peyton’s counsel to let the past go and forgive himself so he could move on, was akin to climbing Mount Everest with a ton of crap strapped to his back. He was no better than a recovering alcoholic, had to talk to himself every day, remind himself that the only things that mattered now were his boys’ happiness and safety. That he couldn’t go back in time and change anything, and the only way forward was by focusing on the future. That children were resilient, and his boys were more prone to follow Ashlee’s advice and good counsel than he was. That he needed to stay positive, open, and never avoid answering Tanner and Luke’s questions. Which so far, hadn’t been difficult. The only difficult question yet to be answered had to do with Pam’s death. Grissom sighed. He dreaded the day Tanner asked what happened to his mother and why she wasn’t ever coming back. Maybe Tuesday could help with that?
Which made sense. The only time he felt like he’d finally crested the summit of all that guilt, was in bed last night with her warmth wrapped around him. Being with her like that had felt like his greatest accomplishment since his sons were born.
Leaning into her, Grissom kissed her temple. They were still in uncharted waters, both of them damaged in their own messed-up ways. But she was no timid damsel in distress. As feminine and beautiful as she was, Tuesday was also a force to be reckoned with. Damned if she hadn’t asserted herself plenty last night. At least, she’d tried.
“You hungry?” he breathed into her ear.
Her shoulders lifted. “For you,” she whispered back.
Tipping to his back, Grissom took Tuesday with him, then rolled until he had her pressed into the carpet.
“The boys,” she whispered, the tree’s lights reflected in her green eyes.
“The boys already know I love you,” he whispered back, then asked louder, “Hey, guys. Do you like Miss Tuesday as much as I do?”
That brought Tanner and Luke scrambling from under the tree and climbing on his back. Luke was laughing, but it was Tanner who declared over his dad’s shoulder, “I love her, Dad. Can we keep her?”
