Page 54 of Call Sign: King
At least that was a sliver of good news.
“How’d you even know what’s going on? This all blew up after hours.”
When she didn’t answer, Ryder looked up into her eyes.
“Axel called me. He’s worried about you. We’re all worried about you.”
“Yeah, well save your worry for Khloe. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“Neither of you deserve this.”
“The hell I don’t. I knew four years ago my past put her in danger, but I was too fucking selfish to walk away like I should have.”
“And what? Break her heart instead?”
“At least she’d be safe. This is all my fault. I never should have dreamed men like me could have it all.”
“What a crock of shit,” Gretchen spat back, raising her voice.
Ryder rarely saw Doc lose her cool so the anger she was directing his way got his attention.
“You two are soulmates. You could no more walk away from her back then than you can today.”
“Yeah, well God sure has a fucked-up sense of humor making an A-list celebrity my soulmate.”
The bottles secured in the fully stocked bar started to clink against each other as the plane picked up speed, preparing to take off. The amber liquid called out to him with a promise to turn off the litany of self-reproach he’d had on repeat since finding out Khloe’d been abducted. As tempting as the idea of drinking himself into oblivion was, hoping to make the constant hum of panic recede, Ryder steeled himself to stay sober and focused. She deserved that much.Theydeserved that much.
A baby.
What a fucked-up way to find out he’s going to be a father.
He was tempted to share the news with Gretchen but pushed down the urge until it passed. He was pretty sure no one but MacGyver and him knew the truth and until things shook out, it was best to keep it that way. Telling Doc wouldn’t help anything, and the last thing he needed right now was more of her pity.
The pilots took off at a steep climb, helping sooth his impatience to finally be in pursuit. He should have been in the air three hours ago instead of dicking around in Toronto. That’s when it hit him.
“That’s why Axel sent me to the hospital and then the hotel. He wanted to give you time to fly in from D.C.”
“Don’t be mad at him. He’s tortured that he’s stuck in Texas. He wants to be here on the front line with you, but even he knows he can help you the most by being behind his keyboard in the command center. He wouldn’t have access to the tools he needs if he were traveling.”
“I hear it in his voice. This whole fucked up situation has triggered him hard. Honestly, I’ve always thought I understood what he was going through, but I truly don’t know how the hell he’s managed to keep from eating a bullet by now. Khloe hasn’t been missing seven hours yet and I’m losing my mind. How the fuck has he made it seven years?”
Gretchen swiped a tear away before answering. “You’re right. I’m really worried about him. To be honest, I struggled to decide if I should fly to Toronto or Texas. The main reason I came here was he begged me to. I hate the idea of him being in that huge command center alone, with only Howard and the dogs as company.
“He tries to hide it from you and the guys with his tough-guy exterior, but he’s been struggling extra hard since the seventh anniversary of Mia’s abduction last month.”
Some kind of friend Ryder was. Of course, Axel tracked an important milestone like that. Ryder hadn’t even bothered to remember the exact date his best friend’s nightmare had started.
Doc read his mind. “You can’t blame yourself. He hides things from you. Hell, he tries to hide from himself. That’s why he tries to push me away because I see him. All of him, and it scares him.”
Ryder didn’t know what to say so he said nothing.
“You should eat something,” Gretchen added, changing the subject.
“I’m not hungry.”
A sad smile came over Doc’s face. “You sound like Khloe. That’s what she always says. So, I’ll play the role of Ryder Helms and tell you that it doesn’t matter. You need to eat to keep your strength up and to feed your body. I have no idea what’s coming ahead, but whatever it is, you’ll need to be in your best condition in body and mind.”
Christ, he hated having his own words parroted back at him, but she was making sense.
