Page 50 of Call Sign: Thunder
This new information put a whole new slant on why Zach had been asking about college and it did help hold down some of her panic. Should she be honest with him in return?
“I have been studying marketing, but… it isn’t the classes or eventually working that I don’t want to talk about.”
“Then what?” he asked.
“It’s just, I’m not ready to be alone on campus yet, okay? Every time I think about it I’m sure someone is going to kidnap me again.”
“Oh, baby,” he comforted her, holding her tighter. “No one is going to hurt you again. Both your father and I will never let that happen.”
“My brain knows that and my therapist has been trying to help me work through my fears, but… well… you asked why I’m not planning on going back to finish up my last year and well, that’s why.”
“Okay, first, you should have told me that the first time I asked, but more importantly, now that I know the reason for you wanting to stay home, we can figure this out. This isn’t like the old days. You don’t have to go to class in person. Hell, you don’t even need to live on campus to finish your education. When we get back to the house, we can figure out how you can get your degree online while still staying close to your therapist while you work through your fears.”
His reassurances did help, but Allison knew there were still obstacles they needed to hurdle.
“Okay, but there is another option. Can’t you leave the Marines and move in with me at the school and I can finish then?”
“And do what? Walk you to class? Make sure you’re eating right? Have your daddy subsidize our lives? Do I seem like the kind of man who is going to be happy letting another man pay my way in life?”
Not this again.
“It won’t be like that.”
“The hell it won’t. Him showering you with birthday and Christmas gifts is one thing, but I need to know that what I’ll be able to provide for you and our family will be enough. And if it isn’t going to be, then you need to tell me now. More importantly, I am looking for a partner in life. Not only do I have zero desire to be a burden or freeloader but I don’t have the means to be your sugar daddy, even if I wanted to be.”
Zach’s voice had grown louder and angrier with every sentence until he finally pushed to his feet. He took a step and deposited her back into her own chair before pulling out his wallet and throwing money down on the table.
“I’m not hungry any more. I’m gonna go for another run to blow of some of this steam. I’ll see you back at the house.”
Tears clouded her vision as she grasped his wrist, trying to hold him back from leaving. He easily pulled away from her grip, leaving her sitting alone with the tears now streaking down her cheeks.
Panic warred with anger. Anger won. How dare he just walk out and leave her? Her hand was shaking with emotion as she reached out and grabbed the damn Cosmo, gulping down half the strong drink. The burn down her throat felt good. She’d missed it.
Allison replayed the last twenty minutes over and over in her head, spinning herself into a hot mess. She wanted to be angry at Zach for not understanding, but he had been hitting on topics she’d been struggling with long before even meeting him.
The truth was she had grown up as a spoiled little rich girl. Her parents, especially her father, had provided not just her every need, but anything she’d ever wanted. Her clothes were designer. She traveled by private jet. They had four homes they rotated between — every single one of them costing more than most people made in a lifetime. She could try to defend that she never really asked for her opulent life, but the fact was she enjoyed the freedom it gave her.
Why did it feel like Zach was asking her to pledge to a life of poverty if they stayed together? Intellectually, she knew it wasn’t that cut and dry, but she had to acknowledge that if she had any hope of maintaining a long term relationship with him, her lifestyle was going to have to change. Like most people, thinking about change was stressful. The panic was starting to beat down her anger.
Allison waved down her server. “I’d like another Cosmo please.”
As she waited for her next drink, she remembered her promise to Zach back at the Hyatt. She’d been so proud of herself for not allowing herself to succumb to the temptation of alcohol and smoking these last few weeks. Instead, she’d bared her soul with her therapist, trying her best to exorcise the memories of the kidnapping. Yet in the process, she’d also dug open fears she hadn’t even known were lurking. The truth was Zach’s questioning had hit too close to all of those same fears she’d been trying to figure out on her own.
What did she want to do with her life? How sad that she’d made it all the way to twenty-one years old and hadn’t figured out the answer to that question yet. Her therapist had tried to reassure her that many, if not most, twenty-one year olds don’t have their lives all figured out yet either, but that didn’t make it any easier. While it would be so painless to just let her father keep taking care of her, would that really make her happy in the long run?
The answer to that question would have been murky if Zach hadn’t made an appearance in her life. But now that he had become the center of her universe, the answer became a lot clearer. Sitting alone at the table, glancing around at the other couples and families enjoying their time together, Allison knew with a certainty that she rarely felt that she was supposed to spend the rest of her life loving Zachary Garrett. It may have been a miracle that brought them together, but she was sure it was fate.
The first real calm she’d felt in a long time settled in. She may not have everything figured out, but she knew that she loved Zach. Not some polished, rich version of him, but the man he was now. Honorable. Strong — mentally and physically. Protective. Sexy. Independent.
All things she admired about her own father, well except the sexy part. Hell, those were the same qualities she’d always wanted to achieve for herself. Getting kidnapped had sidetracked her. She’d let the PTSD fears knock her off course for long enough.
The server was back with another tall Cosmo. Allison sat there, staring at it as she thought through so many heavy topics she’d been avoiding. She had a lot of work to do. She knew her therapist would help her sort through her fears, but she also knew it was time to grow up and start to make some decisions she’d been putting off.
Pushing to her feet, she knew what her first important decision would be.
Glancing down at the still full glass of alcohol, Allison threw more money down to cover the drink she’d leave untouched. If she was going to stay up late fighting for her future with Zach, she knew she wanted to do that with a clear mind.
Chapter Twenty
