Page 14 of Bedding Rose
I consider lying. I do. It would be so much easier to just brush this all off. But I just had a massive freak out in Daisy’s house about that video I caught Gunnar taking of Daisy, so whatever excuse I come up with, I’m not sure it will be enough.
Lily’s gray eyes are trying to cut right through me. I glance around, wishing Quique was here already to rescue me from the uncomfortable conversation about to unfold, but he’s not. So, I take a deep breath, an inhale that makes the inside of my lungs tingle as if I’m strung with little bells that jangle along with my nerves. Then I whisper, “Someone took a video of my mom and a married guy screwing in our bathroom. They’re threatening to release it.”
“WHAT?!” Lily’s outrage is instantaneous and so damn loud I think she might have injured my eardrum. Her hands come up to my shoulders and she cups them, a vicious expression on her face. “Those low-down motherfuckers. Who? We can set Violet’s family on—”
“No.” The word comes out sharp and fierce, exploding right from my chest and out my lips, as fast and sudden as a grenade. I’m not even sure where it comes from. But as soon as it’s out there, I realize that I don’t want to tell Lily the whole story. I don’t want to tell her who took the video or why.
Fuck.
Why not?
Violet’s family has Irish mob ties. They could easily wipe this away.
But Angelo took that video. He set up that camera to spy on me … and ended up with something more than he bargained for. And then he decided to use it to find out what he wants from me.
God, he sets my blood boiling.
But why does the idea of throwing him to the wolves make my throat feel filled with wood chips?
Is it because I know the video isn’t really about my mother or her campaign for senator? A sharp twinge in my chest tells me that’s not the only reason.
I don’t have time to psychoanalyze myself when Lily’s staring at me like I’m crazy.
“I don’t want to get more people involved. If it gets out—her campaign is over.”
“Rose, we’d never let anyone—”
“Quique’s coming to pick me up.” I change the topic instead of arguing. “He’s going to meet me at the park. Might already be there.” I start backing up the sidewalk before turning and briskly setting off again. Part of me wants to have Lily relay an apology to Daisy but another part of me is still so pissed at Gunnar that I can’t bring myself to do it.
I just need space.
Yes.
Space and quiet. Time for this roiling mess to cool down to a simmer. Meanwhile, I am not going to say another word about why I’m festering. I put enough out there for the girls to have some idea about what’s going on so that they can draw their own conclusions.
But the rest of it? The fact that the video isn’t really about Mom at all?
No one needs to know that.
I’m a vault.
I’m a statue.
I’m one of the soldiers in the terra cotta army.
My chest feels as hollow as one of those unearthed soldier statues, a creation whose sole purpose was protecting an emperor in the afterlife.
Sometimes, I feel like my sole purpose is protection too.
But I’m the only one in my stupid family bothering to try to protect us.
The press are absolute vultures.
If that video Angelo took of my mom gets out … her campaign is over.
Goodbye Senate. Goodbye to everything she’s worked for over the past decade. Goodbye to rebuilding her life and proving herself to my lush of a father who deserves to rot in Hell.
That motherfucker who recorded her is trying to ruin all of it. And for what? To find out my secrets? Fuck him.
