Page 26 of Bedding Rose
Her giggles are absolutely giddy. “Oh, he gets me there. Don’t worry. God. I didn’t know it could feel like this!”
She’s on cloud nine but watching her makes me sink down deeper and deeper, slowly sucked under like the Titanic or Atlantis—drowning—not just in jealousy, but in self-loathing. Because I can’t imagine something like that ever happening to me.
Even the kiss last night. That epic kiss … it’s tainted. It could have been perfect, if Angelo wasn’t such a fucking prick.
A hand covers mine and I glance up only to realize my eyes have grown blurry. Daisy flips my hand over and holds it while I fight against the way my throat cinches closed and my tears threaten to spill out.
“Sorry. I’m happy for you. I am.”
“Tell me.” Her tone is so soft that it’s really more of a coax than a command.
I need to tell her. I need to get it out there so that I can just move on. So I force my lips apart and I spill my secrets, laying it all at her feet, exposing everything. Tears interrupt me twice. I have to gloss over what happened at the frat house because I just can’t get the words out. And when I admit to cutting after it, I choke up again. But I make it through, and after I’m done, my soul feels lighter.
But I fully expect my best friend to dole out my penance, to lay into me for being so dumb. As I swipe away the last tear and stare at her expectantly, she chews her lip, deciding what to say first.
Nerves dig a hole in my stomach and burrow into it as I await her judgment.
“Was he a good kisser?” Daisy, still holding my hand, cocks her head to one side as she nestles her mug between her legs so she can reach up and tuck a strand of hair that’s fallen out of her braid behind her ear.
What?I gape at her in silence for a moment before I unwind our hands and punch her lightly on the shoulder. “Are you fucking serious right now?That’swhat you want to know?”
She gives me a look that says, “obviously.”
“He’sblackmailingme,” I remind her, in case she’s forgotten that very salient point. That sword point. That point of no return.
“Yeah, to get you to tell the truth about what happened the night you reverted to old habitsyou’d promised meyou’d never use again.” Daisy gets a little pedantic on me and I grind my teeth. “He’s blackmailing you because he knows you’ll sweep it under the rug and go on with a smile, while you’re seething inside. He knows you won’t do anything about it because you’re Rose.”
“It’s fucking wrong!”
“Newsflash: he gave you that video like a week ago. And you haven’t given him the names of those frat fuckers he wants. You should by the way. But he still hasn’t released the video.” She points a finger at me, as if her logic puts an entirely new spin on things.
But the fact that he hasn’t released the video yet doesn’t mean he won’t. He had the gall to threaten me with it in the first place.
I cross my arms and lean back, jaw ticking. “So, you support his illegal behavior?”
“I do. Because he’s not actually going to do it. He’s just trying to play your hero like he always has.” My best friend leans back against the wooden frame of my bed, looking smugly superior at my aghast expression.
“You are zero fucking help,” I curse, frowning at Daisy even as hope flutters inside my ribs. I try to capture it, shove that little bird down before she flies off, out of my control. But with a sarcastic twitter in my direction, she’s taking flight. The idea that Angelo just wants to play my hero is too potent a fantasy to ignore.
No. NO.
“You want me to help you hate Angelo?” My best friend furrows her brow.
“Yes!That’s exactly what I want.” That’s what he deserves. Isn’t it? My chest grows tight as the words I’m saying contradict everything I feel.
She shakes her head. “No. You hate him already. That’s obvious. But you love him more.”
Fuck.
Fuck me.
My arms uncross and come up to cover my face in despair. That right there might be my problem, because underneath it all, I think Daisy might be right.
ROSE
Since I don’t have class on Fridays, I spent all of yesterday out hiking alone in the mountains. Well, some hiking and a lot of hot chocolate drinking at a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant I found. I should have done some homework or reading, but I needed to escape after Daisy’s truths scraped me raw. I needed time away from my family too because I knew today was going to be a shit show.
Fundraisers are the modern equivalent of the ton attending a ball in a historical romance. They’re a requirement in order to court donors while being a lovely reminder that you’re utterly tied to and indebted to horrible people who look down their noses at you. I can’t wait for tonight’s shindig.
