Page 14 of Depraved
I do a quick mental scan of my body and realize the stinging throb extends all the way to my toes. At least they’re still there.
I search for my wolf.
Panic rises in my chest when I don’t see him immediately. My grandma’s story about her friend Rose flies into my head. Rose fell from a ladder apple picking. Hit her head. Lost a chunk of her memory. Lost her wolf. Her mate howled outside their window every night, mourning the loss. Grandma said Rose ended up driving to a stone quarry. Drove right over the edge.
“A shifter can’t be without their wolf,” she’d said. I can still hear her voice in my head. Picture the way she wagged her finger at me. “Treat yours well. They’re a gift.”
My eyes dart around and I swallow hard, ignoring the burn that erupts in my throat when those muscles move. I don’t see him.
Fuck.
I call out the name he prefers. The one he earned for his speed.Wind, are you there?He doesn’t answer. My fingers curl into the sheets. White-hot sizzles shoot up my arms until I release them. My head is swimming and my body is telling me to go back to sleep, but I fight it off.
I try the name he hates.Mouse!
Instantly, he appears in midair in front of me, lip curling up to scold me for that name. Relief floods through me at the sight of him and his gray fur. Every muscle that I’d tensed up without even noticing relaxes.
I don’t even care that I’ve made him mad. I’m just so happy he’s here. The vision of him blurs as my eyes fill with stupid tears that I don’t have the ability to wipe away right now because my arms hurt so bad.
Mouse floats through the green bed canopy and one of the posts as if they don’t exist, like they’re a glitch in a video game. Like he’s not a glitch in reality. Nuzzling my chin, he settles down on my chest. I can almost feel the healing hum of his presence, like it’s warmer where he sits, even though he’s just a vision.
You saved us. Thank you,I tell him. I don’t recall him saving us—my memory doesn’t hold anything other than that split-second of heat, regret, and pain before I blacked out. But nothing but his magic could have done it. Nothing but him taking on the pain and shouldering most of the burden of healing. Without him, I’d be a goner.
His tail thumps against my ribs.
He sends me images of sleep. Of licking our wounds. He tries to tell me to rest.
I just had to see you—
My thought conversation with my wolf is interrupted by Elena’s voice. My ears instantly perk up when I hear her. My wolf stands up on my chest. Pivoting, he leaps from me to the top of the forest green comforter towards the sound.
I notice that his avatar form looks normal, whole, but I feel like maybe my skin got peeled off or something gross like that. Everything just hurts. For a second, I wish I was just a vision, the way he is right now.
But when my wolf points his nose in the direction of Elena’s voice, I try to focus on that instead of the pain and the conversation I’ve been having inside my own head.
She’s here. She’s at my bedside. My heart swells up. Happiness outweighs the aches for a second.
And I don’t just hear her. I smell her too. Her scent infiltrates my nose and sparks all kinds of feelings in my chest. I can’t name them all. But they glimmer like twinkle lights.
I tell my neck to turn so that I can look at her because she must be sitting just outside my line of sight. But it groans in protest and won’t move. My mind might be awake, but apparently my body hasn’t quite gotten the memo. It’s still trying to convince me to sleep, just like my wolf did a minute ago.
I try to relax all of my muscles and somehow that unlocks them. But when I turn my head to see my mate, I suddenly wish that my body had refused to cooperate. Because Elena isn’t at my bedside, whispering sweet things for me. She’s sprawled sideways across a recliner. A silky nightgown is rucked up above her breasts. Her dark hair is tousled. She looks hot as hell. Her back arches. And I spot Black’s head between her legs. She whimpers as he mouth fucks her.
She’s not pining for me like I’d be for her. She’s fucking him while she waits for me to get better.
Or is she even waiting?
The pain in my muscles doubles. Or maybe it’s my heart.
I don’t know how long it’s been since the bomb. I don’t know how long I’ve been out—but the alpha of our pack is kneeling in front of my mate.He’s not dominating her like I’ve seen him do before. He’s … taking care of her needs.
That’s always been my job. My place. When her hands reach into his hair and she starts to buck wildly against him—I close my eyes. I turn my head in the other direction.
There’s a sinking feeling in my chest, like I’ve literally just watched myself be replaced.
As my weary body shuts back down, I don’t fight the darkness. I welcome it.
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