Page 5 of Surfaces
I dug into a box on top of my dressing table full of jewelry and carefully selected and put on three choker necklaces to hide my neck from sight before even finding a new outfit. Without the broad strips of black ribbon and jewels, the muscles and tendons moved clearly with every word I spoke. And I was certain that if rumor of such a sight spread,allthe men competing for my hand would quit.
I sighed, wondering how long I could put them off.
“Please, you and I aren’t all that different,” Lizza scoffed as she yanked out and rejected various revealing dresses from the rack. “Just a bit of sag here and rotting flesh there, but really, we’re basically the same.”
I pressed my lips together, trying to remain diplomatic, but then Lizza added, “I mean, between the sheets, let me tell you, a man can’t tell one broad from another. Shoot, half have no idea what they’re doing. One time, I was with a man who was rather drunk and he kept prodding his dick at a little decayed bit near my thigh and ripped right through—”
Images far worse than the sight of my own innards poured over me like hot tar. “Found a dress yet?” I asked, my voice a desperate screech as I tried to wipe my mind clean, though the effort was as futile as trying to swipe away thick mud … it just ended up spreading. I spent a few horribly torturous moments stuck inside my own mind with Lizza’s love life weaving a tawdry picture before I calmed myself with images of Evaness … my old bedroom and its tapestries, running through the hallways and hiding behind suits of armor, squatting with a servant girl behind the orchestra and making fart noises as they practiced for some ball. Those were the days. My life used to be simple and easy. Now each day seemed to compete to come with a challenge worse than yesterday.
Lizza hummed as she quested for the perfect dress until she finally stopped on a gauzy golden silk piece that was layered and draped to resemble petals. She pulled it out. “Hmmm. How’s this?”
The dress was one of my favorites. I’d tried to describe a rose to one of the seamstresses and she’d come up with this dress that resembled a chrysanthemum more than a rose, with long slender golden petals that puffed out into a short but wide skirt. And while my legs would be on display, my entire torso would be covered because the neckline was straight from shoulder to shoulder. It was definitely one of the most modest gowns I had, one I’d requested before trying to embrace the “freer” nature of Okeanos residents, where mer women and sirens often went topless. But it would perfectly suit my needs today since my upper half could not be seen for at least another thirty minutes.
I nodded at her, and she walked back over, laying the dress over the chair near my dressing table before she helped me strip off the old gown with fingers as rough as tree bark.
I’d drunk all the bubble in my pitcher, so had no means to wash off the dirt from the rubble that stained my translucent arms here and there. I was going to just dismiss it—dirt was the least of my worries—but Lizza went to her bag and got out two pink crystals. When she returned, she held them decisively near my chest and tapped them together once, making a tiny white spark alight inside them. The dirt floated instantly away from my skin as I watched in awe.
“Don’t move or that muck will get right back on you,” she warned.
I froze and let the little particles drift slowly to the floor while I tried to think about what to say to these men who wanted to quit.
What could I say, really? I wouldn’t force anyone—other than Watkins—to continue the competition. That bastard could rot in a tower room in my castle for all I cared. No, actually, he couldn’t. Because that would be too easy.
But if these other men wanted to leave, I would let them, even though the thought created a hollow void in my chest.
The tournament had already been reduced to twenty men from the joust—or would be tomorrow morning when standings were announced. Those who’d competed already knew their basic rank.
While there were three more rounds to complete in the open ocean tomorrow morning, it was pretty well-known which men would make it through those, other than Keelan, whom I wasn’t certain could compete with his ruined arm. I didn’t know if the challenge would be too much for him because I had no idea what it was.
Those who’d already lost or known their elimination was certain had no reason to come announce their intention to quit. That meant these four were competitors that were supposed to make it through to the next round.
We’d be down to sixteen instead of twenty if they left.
“What will people think if men abandon the tournament?” I asked, grabbing at the emerald on one of my choker necklaces. It wasn’t really a question for Lizza since she was as much a foreigner to Okeanos as I was. It was a question for Sahar, my adviser. But I’d insisted the siren take the rest of the day off to be with her injured son. And I couldn’t walk into that room to face those men without knowing what to say.
“They’re cowards,” Lizza retorted as she set her crystals down and helped me wrangle the dress over my head and get it set in place.
“Perhaps, but they’re practical. We’ve been attacked twice now.” I fussed with the bottom hem of my underskirt as I ruefully tried to consider things from a competitor’s perspective. They’d signed up for a bit of adventure but gotten quite a lot of trouble instead.
I wasn’t worth all this danger, obviously. I mean, I’d have thought the same of nearly any man. Well, except for Mateo. Perhaps Felipe.All in all, they’re just being prudent,I decided. Then I smoothed the silk petals of my skirt and grabbing a brush so that I could deal with the tangle of my hair. I could appreciate caution.
“Meh, open attacks are easy to deal with. It’s stealthy ones you have to worry about,” Lizza shrugged as she went back to her bag and began to deftly reorganize the contents and pack it up. “If these fools can’t handle open attacks, then you’re better off without them. They wouldn’t be able to handle the pressure of court life long-term.”
I tried to convince myself that was true as I set down the brush and had my fingers work a particularly nasty snarl. But my gut didn’t believe her.
My gut told me that these men had lost confidence in me and my position as queen. They thought these attacks were too much for me and didn’t think I could keep them safe. The fact that I’d simply watched as my carriage was waylaid and been carried off like some fainting ninny didn’t bode well.
What if Humberto was in the group that wanted to leave? The great hero who’d saved so many? He’d been forced to use his power because I hadn’t had access to mine.
Or Valdez? He’d shifted and attacked a shark.
My stomach got as knotted as my hair when I realized how they might feel. That guilt transformed into fear as I thought about how many people they’d tell. What they’d say.
Queen Avia just stood there. Didn’t even lift a finger. She made her guards fight for their lives and let her own household be attacked. Watched it all like it was a game of hammer-throwing.
The news of their choice would spread as quickly as a disease and infect the ears of many.
Shite. What could I do to minimize the damage?
