Page 60 of Defiant
Mate,he replies simply.
God, I want to yank on my hair or throw something. But I have to walk casually, act bored.
If I leave, I can never come back. I’ll never see my family again. My brother and my little sisters will become strangers. I don’t think Black would punish my family. He’s an asshole, but not that big of one. He’s never punished family members for the crimes of their kin, which is better than I hear they get in the Dead Rabbits pack. Fuck though.
Leave forever?
I won’t be able to shift, because a beta shifting without a pack is just asking for trouble. Beta wolves need a leader for direction and guidance. They aren’t good with decisions or confrontation.
What about that?I ask my wolf.You’d be stuck inside my head.
Mate,he responds for a third goddamn time.
That’s not an answer!I tell him.Mate isn’t the answer for everything.
This time, his answer comes in the form of an image—a memory of a topless Elena, from the first night she’d seduced me during a study session. I’d been making flashcards at a table in the library, trying not to sneeze at the smell of dusty old books. Then I’d glanced over to find her black button-up shirt open. No bra. Those small nipples pointed right at me and begging for my mouth.
“Dare you,” she’d whispered.
Best fucking moment of my life to that point.
My wolf grins as though he’s made his point. Then he trots leisurely through my field of vision and appears to lie down in the grass in front of me. He doesn’t seem to care about losing his ability to manifest and take control of my body, losing his shot at freedom. But then, he’s an animal. Sometimes I can’t even tell if he knows what tomorrow means.
He’s an animal,I remind myself. Part of me, but an animal. And he doesn’t look out for us long term. I have to do that.
What’s best?
The idea of living without my family tastes like swallowing filthy broken glass.
But living without Elena…
“Watch it!” Two alphas shoulder me out of the way as they carry a huge chain link fence from a shed. That’s the fifth length of fence that’s gotten dragged out on my shift.
“Sorry,” I apologize as I take a step back. “You guys need any help?”
“Betas stay by the house. Alpha Maddox’s orders.” One of the alphas responds, huffing as he adjusts his grip on the length of fence stretched over metal poles.
“Okay, yeah. Sure.” I agree quickly, which is the best policy when it comes to alphas. “It’s just that the shed is pretty close, so maybe I could bring some of that fence part way. Help you out a little.” Physical activity sounds good right about now. Working my muscles so that I don’t have to think. Releasing some of this tension.
The alphas both have beads of sweat rolling down their foreheads. One of them gives a brief grunt. “Whatever.” Then they move off with their load.
That’s as much of a yes as I need. I walk over to the shed and grab a piece of fence. It’s got to be at least ten feet high and five wide, so it’s a beast to handle on my own. But I wrangle it out of the tall metal shed and start sliding it through the grass, saving them a couple hundred yards of carrying. It nearly tips a time or two, causing me to curse up a storm. But it’s good because it takes all of my concentration to balance that shit, all my muscles to move it where I want, to master it. I drop my section on the lawn once I feel like I’ve gotten a little too far from the house. My spine is sticky with sweat, shirt soaked.
I repeat the process. On the second round, the alphas are back just as I lug the huge piece of fence toward my drop point.
“Thanks, man.” One of them, I think his pack name might be Warcraft, tells me as he wipes his brow and then shoves back his dark brown hair.
“No problem. I’m dying of boredom standing around.”
The guys chuckle as they pick up that piece of fence. “Well, you won’t be for long,” Warcraft says as he heaves part of the fence up to balance on his shoulders. “No?” I ask conversationally.
“We’re using this fence to build a fighting pit. Alpha Maddox is going up against the Dark Night’s alpha.”
My brows shoot up and my heart starts thumping faster. I have to work to keep fear off my face. “Oh yeah. When’s that?”
“Tonight.”
My stomach falls out of my body and I almost step on it when I stumble. “What?”
