Page 24 of Defiant
I glance up at the moon goddess. She’s standing on a building in the distance, her bottom edge touching the roof. I stare at her but she just stares blankly back at me like she always does. I don’t ever get that sense of connection other wolves have to her.
Elena always jokes I’m a shifter atheist.
My throat tightens as I picture Elena’s smirk, the way her full red lips quirk, and that expression she gets when she makes fun of me. I let out a huff of frustration and tell myself I haven’t done enough yet to start checking hospitals to see if they’ve admitted an Elena DeMarkus, though that thought has crossed my mind. I mean, I’ve searched the whole fucking campus. And Elena’s not here. She never came back.
I waited after class. I missed my lecture for Composition 201 after I realized that she forgot her phone. But she never showed.
I wandered the campus all afternoon. I know her schedule, I memorized it when we started hooking up last semester. Sometimes she lets me fill those gaps between classes by fillinghergap. God, she’s so fucking … just so … everything. Hot. Wild in bed. But then level-headed. Low drama.
Sometimes I can’t believe she’s picked me.
Like, what did I do to get so lucky? Part of me wants to question it and ask her but the other part knows I should just shut the fuck up and take the lotto win. That’s what it feels like, having her want me—like I became a billionaire overnight and the world is at my fingertips. Sometimes just thinking about it makes me feel high, like I smoked some good ass shit. I’d make it official if she gave me half a chance but she’s skittish about that shit. Won’t let me buy her food but will let me buy her vibrators.
One day, though. One day.
Another student walks by as I pass underneath a tall tree that lines one of the major paths on campus. The guy gives me a nod and calls out, “Hey, Jonah! Going to that Phi Kap party tonight?”
“Nah. Got plans.”
“You’re missing out.”
I smile back to be polite and give an open-armed shrug as if to say “what can you do.” I’ve got zero clue who that dude is even though the campus is relatively small. I do my thing here and then between the gym, my job at the mechanic’s shop, pack shit, and Elena … there’s barely time for a social life. Sometimes I go out with the pack betas bar hopping. But if Elena’s free, I always choose to hang with her.
I walk quickly back to our Anthro lecture hall, running a palm up and down my black beanie, pushing it backward on my head before pulling it down again. I wonder for the zillionth time if she’s back there—pissed at me for wandering off.
I worry a lot that she’s gonna get pissed at me. Or that her alpha wolf will show up and dismiss me.
That right there is my biggest fear.
And part of me wonders if it’s hers.
Her wolf hasn’t come in yet, so how can she take any relationship seriously? No matter how well we click. A wolf can appear and change it all.
I’ve seen it happen. A good relationship is going and then someone’s wolf shows and bam—done. Over.
My uncle and aunt were like that. High school sweethearts. Married young. Posey was pregnant with his kid and then his wolf came in—an elite who wanted someone farther down the beta chain. He left her while she was still pregnant and she came to live with us. I had to share my room with Posey. I was five. I fell asleep to the sound of her crying into her pillow for months. I fucking hate Michael and his goddamned wolf. He’s never even seen my cousin Jimmy.
Part of me wishes Elena’s wolf would come in and this constant worry would just end. The other part of me hopes she’s a glimmer, someone who’s born into the supernatural world and knows about it but doesn’t have magic. Because then I could keep her forever.
Mine,my wolf whines.
Yeah. I want her to be mine. And so does he. Those fierce gray eyes of hers. The way I can erase her badass strut sometimes and win a soft smile from her. I know that tickle spot on her right side, one she refuses to acknowledge exists … but if I get her just right under her ribs she’ll be kicking and screaming in mirth. Once, she even snorted—a fact I like to remind her about when she’s feeling playful.
I glance up at the moon skeptically. She’s moved up from the buildings and is wearing a couple of clouds now.
Moon Goddess, if you’re real … please … make Elena mine.
Of course, the moon just sits there in the sky and I feel like an idiot for thinking that.So dumb.
I reach the anthropology building and focus my attention back on my search. My eyes scan the dark windows of the two-story hall. There’s nothing but a light wind shaking the trees behind the building.
Goose bumps start up on my skin when I hear a howl come from the forest.
I turn my eyes toward it. My throat grows dry and I wonder...
Nah.
She wouldn’t go in there. The campus isn’t too far from disputed territory. Elena might be a bit of a risk-taker but that’s more about sexy stuff. She fucking loves it when we almost get caught. Once, she pulled down her panties but left her skirt on and had me do her right behind the astronomy building while a class went on inside. We were literally just below the fucking windows. The high from the anxiety combined with the slick feel of her pussy clamping down on my dick—it had been a short round. I’d made up for it with my mouth later though. Twice.
