Page 12 of Demon Sworn
I know I need to sleep. But fuck, whenever I close my eyes, I see my brother’s face. Is he scared right now? Does he miss me? Are my parents treating him okay? Silent tears begin to slide down my cheek, and I sniff, twisting my head to wipe my face in my pillow.
I want to think of something else, anything else, but I know the alternatives will be just as bad.
When I don’t think of Adam, I think of the night my nanny, Ali, died. The night everything changed for me, when my world tilted precariously on its axis and I could either hang on for dear life or tumble headfirst off a steep cliff.
I chose the former, but it cost me…everything.
Instinctively, I bring a hand up to my ruined ear, as if the damage done could be felt physically.
On the night of the accident, I lost one of the few people I truly cared about and a piece of myself. It may have been small, but it’s a part that I’ll never get back. For the rest of my life, I’ll only be a shell of the Katrina I once was. Kastros broke me, both mentally and physically, and I don’t know if I’ll ever forgive him for that. Knowing it was him reopens wounds that I thought had closed years ago.
I’m bleeding, and I can’t get it to stop. No matter what I do, the wound continues to drip, drip, drip, drip across the floor in a steady stream of garnet blood.
Because of him.
Because of a man I love and trust.
Loved and trusted.
I toss and turn in bed, but my mind refuses to shut off. Sleep’s virtually impossible, especially without one of my guys here to ward off my nightmares. Fuck, I need Ziel right about now, Raz’s alter ego should visit my dreams and replace the dark shadows with glittering lights and gold.
Knowing that even attempting to sleep is futile, I slide off the covers and tiptoe on bare feet towards the door, the chill of the night air wrapping my ankles in its icy grip.
As adorable as Kator and the menagerie are, their hugs won’t do tonight. Even Jason’s bear hug style snuggles won’t be enough. I’ll find Raz or Zolroth and ask them to cuddle with me. To hold me until the nightmares plaguing my every waking and sleeping moment dissipate. Then, and only then, will I allow myself to slip mercifully into unconsciousness.
With that thought solidifying, I chance a glance at myself in the full-length mirror on Zolroth’s door. Because of course my materialism demon would have mirrors all throughout his bedroom.
My hair is disheveled, pink strands sticking to my cheeks before falling down my back in tangled clumps. My clothes are similarly rumpled, because I didn’t bother to change before sliding beneath the covers, and my face is red and blotchy from my tears. There might even be battle stains from heaven all over Zolroth’s sheets for all I know, because I refuse to examine my clothes too closely.
To be frank, I look like shit. Complete and utter shit. If there was a cringeworthy award, I’d win it.
I make a face at myself but don’t bother to fix anything. The guys have seen me crying, raging, and naked before. There’s no reason for me to hide. And once you’ve been stripped emotionally raw in front of someone, hiding behind makeup seems kind of pointless.
Silently, I slip the door open and creep into the hall, being extra careful not to wake Jason or the other animals sleeping in the hallway opposite me in a cute little puppy pile. Jason’s nose scrunches in his sleep, and he shakes his butt from side to side. On his head, licking her paws, is Kator, my floof of a cat. She meows when I pass, but one small growl from the golden retriever puppy nearby has her shutting up.
I take a step forward, and that’s when I notice the breakfast tray placed on the floor just outside the door. To my shock, it’s untouched—the animals haven’t devoured the sandwich on it. They haven’t knocked over the cup of tea. I swallow hard. There’s only one demon in the house they all obey without question.
The vengeance demon.
I turn away from the tray and swallow the lump in my throat, refusing to focus on it. To distract myself, I tiptoe across the hall to our adorable pets and try to heal a tiny bit of my broken heart with unconditional animal love. Because we all know…
Animals are better than humans.
I’m pretty sure my man Kristoff sang a variation of that inFrozen 2.
I scratch each of them behind their ears—even Jason, who simply opens one eye, spears me with a sleepy look, and then rolls onto his back, dislodging the animals clinging to him—before I head down the hall.
Zolroth claimed he had to iron his clothes, so I expect to find him in the laundry room. But when I enter, he’s nowhere to be found. I don’t even see the finished suit, though I know for a fact that he didn't put that one in his closet. Weird.
Maybe he’s with Raz?
I head in the direction of the pit…and yes, I mean an actual, honest-to-God pit. It’s a sunken room located in the center of their living room which is basically a self-proclaimed man cave, with sleek red couches and columns of fire. Because all man caves need columns of fire, according to Akor.
I’m surprised to see all five of my demons already seated on the couches, their wings spread out behind them.
My heart practically jumps out of my chest and cowers in a fetal position when it sets eyes on Kastros, looking uncharacteristically forlorn and tiny where he sits on the leather sofa. Isn’t that fucking ironic? Kastros, the largest demon I’ve ever set eyes upon before, appearingtiny. But fuck, that’s the only word I can think to use to encapsulate the expression marring his handsome features. He looks positively devastated, an unusual slump to his shoulders as his large, scarred hands massage his obsidian hair. The strong angles of his face look even more striking in the flickering flames of the firelight.
But all in all, he appears small. Defeated. Weary.
