Page 37 of Demon Sworn
I’ve just gotten the phone set up and recording on the countertop when Raz and the others walk in. Their faces look haggard, and immediately, I can tell that the interviews today didn’t yield any results. Dammit! That's not what Katrina needs to hear.
I slam my hand down on the countertop in frustration just as Katrina and Akor walk in, looking disheveled and giggling wildly. Based on how mussed her hair is, they’ve been off having wild sex or something similar. Jealousy and longing hit me like a jab and an uppercut to the jaw.
Thank fuck my steak timer goes off and I get to stomp outside before Katrina sees how much I miss her. She doesn’t need to deal with my hang-ups in addition to all the other crap that’s already been thrown at her. She’s got more than enough to handle.
I open the grill and yank the steaks off, putting them onto a big platter and holding it high above the yapping menagerie of our pets. I walk back inside through the backdoor, expecting to see Raz gently telling Katrina that the fucker who’s screwing with us is still at large.
That’s not what I find. When I walk into the kitchen, everyone is staring down at Adam in utter shock.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” Katrina shouts.
“The humping dance,” Adam replies as he thrusts his hips back and forth. “Kas taught me it.”
Whoa! What?
Four pairs of accusatory eyes flash to me. Akor’s gaze is just amused as he laughs his balls off. But his balls aren’t on the line here. Mine are.
I shake my head frantically as I set down the platter of steak. I start to sign but then think,Fuck it, showing them will be faster.
So I go unlock the laundry room door and let it swing open. Adam’s hips humping the air were nothing,nothing, compared to the eye-gouging trauma of witnessing Jason on his knees. He’s got a liquid laundry detergent bottle open, his hands holding the handle as his dick slides rapidly in and out of the spout and blue detergent slides down his thighs and puddles on the floor.
He smiles innocently over at me as he keeps pumping away, completely oblivious.
I wave my hands at him like I’m some woman on a gameshow displaying prizes.
Behind door number one, we have horny zombie-dog-man!
For the first time in my memory, Raz laughs before anyone else. It’s a startling sound, rough like chipped bark, but it builds and grows until it booms. Everyone else follows, even Adam, who fake laughs and holds his belly in an exact imitation of Zolroth, though the kid doesn’t get the joke because Katrina bodily blocks him from seeing it.
We laugh until Jason comes into the detergent container with a satisfied, “Ahhh.” And when he asks, “New toy?” and holds it up hopefully, I can’t help but nod because the poor guy deserves some kind of happy ending.
We eat, enjoying a relaxed buzz in the light of Jason’s escapade, the mood sweet as an apple, the best it’s been since before Heavengate, as I’ve started to call my own damn scandal.
But even good things come to an end, and as we’re sitting around in the pit afterwards, everyone else talking, me petting Kator as I watch Adam try to do somersaults and ensure he doesn’t land in one of our giant columns of fire, Raz says, “I think we need some more help.”
Zolroth glances over at him, arching a posh brow. “Lucillania helped, but we still haven’t caught our guy or gal. If the Queen of Hell can’t help us, who can?”
Raz nods. “You’re right. But the Queen of Hell doesn’t know us as well as Arariel and her murder do. I think we need to have them come over and brainstorm.”
Half an hour later, our demon buddies are sitting around with beers in their hands, smirking at our misery just like I’d expect them to. We’re supposed to be one of the best damn murders in all of Hell! And we’re chasing our tails here. We look as stupid as Jason dipping his cock in detergent.
Arariel seems to get the most enjoyment out of it. Of course, she is a scorn demon. “I can’t believe it! This is just the best…well, you know what I mean.” She brushes off her own rude comment with a wave of her claw. She’s fully demon tonight, her huge breasts are tackily spilling out of a top that looks like some cosplay rip-off here but would just be everyday wear in Hell. Her wings sweep across the floor as she gestures at us with the hand holding her beer, toasting our stupidity for the third time. “To evil masterminds!”
I think she might have come over a bit drunk already.
“Tokillingevil masterminds,” Akor corrects before lifting his own glass.
“Oh! Did I say it wrong?” She giggles. Definitely drunk. Ugh.
I look over at Raz and sign,Do you really think that any of them are going to be able to help like this?
He signs back,Maybe Tatrys? He’s not drunk.
But the illusion demon has made himself into a Chinese kid tonight and is currently throwing pillows back and forth with Adam. I catch one of Adam’s wayward throws before it lands in a column of flames before tossing it back to him.
Raz clears his throat and asks, “Tatrys, hey! Any ideas who might have done this?”
Tatrys just peels his eyelids back and sticks out his tongue at Raz before chasing after a giggling Adam and resuming their pillow war. So he’s fucking helpful.
