Page 66 of Depths
Dark thoughts rose like a chorus in my chest, blackly harmonizing all the ways I should have known. Deacon had been right. Things were connected. If I hadn’t dismissed this hours ago, I would have seen it. Oh, this shite day couldn’t get worse.
A hand clutched at mine, squeezing my palm, and I turned in a daze to see Sahar. Her eyes were wild, her hair unkempt, and her grip on my hand only tightened.
Immediately, I knew that someone had been in the doorway when the arena had collapsed. When her lip trembled, I knew who.
“No,” I gasped.
She didn’t respond. She seemed frozen but for the hand that threatened to break my fingers, snap my palm in two. I couldn’t even imagine what she felt right now, because my own chest ached. I hardly knew him, but Keelan painted a bright spot in every day.
I met Felipe’s gaze, and immediately he and Ugo swam down to the entrance and began shifting coral, trying to dig out some kind of opening. I kept Sahar’s hand, not hugging her, not patting her back, because those gestures would signify that hope was dead. That Keelan was gone.
I watched for a moment, but floating and waiting felt wrong. My limbs twitched to yank back those smaller rocks, do what little I could. “We should help,” I whispered jaggedly.
She nodded, but I wasn’t certain she’d heard me. I pulled my hand from her grip and swam over, lugging rock after rock until my chest ached and the ribbon gown I wore was all but shredded.
The first time I found a hand, hope surged up only for it to be dashed against a rock. We pulled two spectators from the rubble, their faces blank, their chests still. And we weren’t even down to the tunnel yet.
A third person, a squi-shifter, was found in animal form, still moving, but faintly.
“Hey, you!” one of the men called to a mage. “Here, now!”
The mage swam over in a hurry, and I could hear the clink of potion bottles as he checked his stores for whatever might heal the injured. Lizza appeared at my side then, clacking her teeth together as she surveyed the damage. “Not good. Not good at all.”
I didn’t respond because just then, two mermen heaved aside a big chunk of blue coral, and another hand drifted out of the rubble to rest gently on the sand. A golden hand. A siren’s hand.
Sahar gasped behind me before swimming forward to dig at the sand on the ocean floor as the men around her shifted more coral away from the body.
I both hoped it was Keelan and hoped it wasn’t. Because no matter how hard I stared at those fingers, they didn’t twitch.
The ripples in the water blurred my vision. Or were those tears? Shock cushioned the edges of my thoughts with fuzzy clouds and kept the horror of everything from penetrating fully.
One last hunk of coral was lifted. A tournament helmet was yanked off. Keelan’s signature lightning bolt streak hair came into view. I could instantly see why his hand hadn’t moved; it was bent at an odd angle past the elbow, twisted sickly. Sahar gave a bitter screech of pain. She dragged a limp Keelan into her arms as she batted away the other rescue workers, cradling his long body on her legs as she rocked him. “My baby. My baby.”
Like a dam cracking and bursting, all the shock that had been insulating me wore off, and the pain of the situation filled my mouth and rushed through my ears. I was drowning in it when I saw Keelan’s face full-on for the first time.
His soft, golden skin was mottled with scratches and blood, abrasions turning the smooth surface into a patchwork of red. A lump had swollen on his forehead, and it looked like his nose might have broken. His eyes were closed. By all the afterlives, I hoped they weren’t closed forever.
I turned to Lizza, my knees as limp as noodles. I stared wordlessly at her. Could we give him my heart? Would it save him? It would be a terrible fate, but wasn’t death worse? My eyes asked the questions that my mouth simply could not. Not because I gave one shite about who might overhear what right now, but because I was so stricken.
Julian suddenly appeared between Lizza and me, before charging forward and picking up Keelan’s hand. The scientist put his own fingers on Keelan’s wrist, ignoring Sahar’s attempt to bat him away. “Still has a pulse, but faint.”
Lizza looked at me, letting her eyes drop pointedly to my chest. And then she shook her head, signaling that she didn’t think this was the moment to give it to him.
“Do whatever it takes to save him,” I ordered, voice as harsh as my violent feelings. I wanted him to take my heart but didn’t. More than anything, I wished my stupid powers came with the ability to turn back the clock, to reverse everything. Because I felt certain now, without a doubt, that I was the reason all of this had happened.
“Undead?” Lizza croaked out the question.
It was on the tip of my tongue to say yes. But I hesitated. “Anything short of it. If it comes to that, his mother should decide.” I watched Sahar lean protectively over Keelan and plant a kiss on his forehead. Her face screamed her pain though her tears were muted and soft.
If I could have switched places with him just then, I would have, because no mother would cry over me that way. And no mother who’d cry that way ever deserved to lose her son.
Lizza watched me solemnly for a second before she gave a nod and stiffly trod toward the others. She took Julian’s hand and forced him to help her down. Her knees creaked as she knelt beside Keelan and reached out a hand to check his pulse.
I clenched my teeth together so hard that my face hurt as I watched. Hoped.
She’d brought me back. This couldn’t be worse … could it?
Keelan’s smile—the sight of him feeding Mr. Whelk a tiny jelly—it felt unreal that only hours ago, we’d laughed together. I hadn’t even gotten to know more about him! I’d asked about the tournament rules like a fool.
