Page 63 of Depths
I chewed for several more minutes in awful silence until I swallowed the last of the lizard. Energy surged through my body like a gust of wind or a wild spinning current. My heart started pulsing. The cobwebs in my mind cleared. After a minute, I was able to push myself up to sitting. I took a deep breath, both to steady myself and test my body. Perfect. I felt perfect. Like I had before this mess.
Lizza raised an eyebrow. “Well?”
“Well nothing. How long will that lizard last me?” I knew better than to get caught up in the strength flowing through my veins.
“It’ll give you two, maybe three days.” Lizza shrugged a bony shoulder. “You’re farther gone than I thought you were.”
Days? Only days? “You can’t make more?” Panic made my voice tight and thin.
“I’ve got one more. But no, I can’t make more in three days.” Lizza shook her head.
It felt as though she’d dropped a boulder on me. It was a long moment before I could see past the black devastation that clouded my mind. I took several deep breaths, trying to stay calm. Two days. Maybe four with that second lizard. Six if I was lucky and her three day estimate was correct … but I didn’t feel lucky. “Then what happens?” I asked as I straightened the ribbons on my chest and feigned nonchalance, an emotion as distant from my current state as a star in the sky.
“Then, either you get rid of that heart or it’ll get rid of you.” Lizza’s no nonsense tone brooked no argument.
There it was. Damn.
I clenched my fist. I’d known it already. But the hourglass by which I’d carefully been measuring out my remaining seconds had been smashed. There was no time left.
I nodded and strode past her toward the door, wings tucked down by my sides, a million thoughts at play in my head.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
I turned back to stare at her but found myself staring at the rough brain coral walls instead. “If I’ve got to pick someone to take this stupid thing, then I need to be out there, weighing my options. I need to see all the competitors in order to make the right choice.”
“Competitors? Why would you give your heart to one of those men? Are you looking to maim them?”
I froze with my hand on the knob, not yet pushing the door open. “What do you mean?”
“You think handing a man your heart is going to be without issues? You’ve got a faulty one.”
“Won’t his own healthy heart override it?” I felt aghast as I dropped the doorknob and leaned back against the wall.
“To a degree. But he won’t be the same ever again. And, if you give it to a man, not a woman … just think how many more decisions we make with our hearts and not our heads. The emotions of it might drive him plumb mad.” Lizza clucked. “I wouldn’t give it away to anyone you liked.”
“Anyone I don’t like would never volunteer.”
“Volunteer?” Lizza chuckled. “That’s adorable. What did you think, we bring you both into the same room and you hold hands while I chant?”
I merely stared. In fact, I had been thinking something along those lines.
Lizza shook her head. “No. I do the spell. Poof, the heart disappears from your chest and reappears in theirs. Bing. Bang. Boom.” She closed up her pouch. “You think about that woman thing. Who might be able to handle it?”
A woman. Not a man. My entire premise had been to find husbands for that purpose! That, and to unite this kingdom, lessen their resentment of me. What the ever-loving sard was I going to do?
My thoughts immediately flew to Sahar. Or Gita. But did I really want to subject either of them to such a fate? I sighed. I couldn’t.
I scrubbed a hand across my forehead. I’d known that I was selecting a victim. A person I’d want to keep at my side and control. But now I would be handicapping them too. I didn’t know of any woman I could choose. I needed to stick with my original plan. I had thirty-two competitors who’d signed up for a royal life with all the trappings. Which of them should suffer that fate?
I’d hoped to choose one of my favored to get my heart, one who wouldn’t mind being always at my side. But the thought of crippling Mateo or Keelan made me cringe. No. I needed to pick someone more middle of the road. Middle of the pack. I needed someone whose attachment would benefit me but perhaps wouldn’t find themselves utterly ruined by my idiotic organ.
I yanked open the door with a frustrated sigh. Both my guards looked startled to see me up and about. I withheld an eye roll as I announced, “Magically cured. I’ll try to cover my eyes next time there’s blood.” I hated the lie. But I hated the truth even more.
I opened my wings and started to swim back toward the arena, which had begun to swell with cheers. “Did they continue the tournament without me?” I turned to Ugo, still too emotionally unbalanced to look at Felipe. I didn’t want his keen eyes to perceive the thoughts racing through my head.
“I’m sorry, Majesty, we didn’t ask them to stop. And since technically the judges are still present …” I waved off his apology.
“It’s fine. Is there a way to get me back up to watch without everyone staring?”
