Page 42 of Depths
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Weaknesses should be guarded with doors and walls and moats. They should be hidden in the tallest room of the highest tower and never ever be seen.
—Sultan Raj of Cheryn
* * *
Threat gone,I swallowed hard and prepared to deal with the fallout. I wriggled out of Felipe’s arms and swam up toward the whale, where everyone gathered, either crying or laughing in relief as shock wore off. The beast itself trembled under Radford’s touch, making their seats shake as if even the whale realized what a close call we’d had. My fingertips did too; I had to clench them to stop their shaking as my wing-like fins fluttered and I moved closer to the others.
Of course, my gaze darted to Mateo first. Knowing he was alright loosened the band that had constricted around my torso. His dark eyes found mine, and for a second, nothing else existed. We stared at one another in mutual relief, in awed silence, a giant wave of grief still crashing through our systems despite the happy outcome. Almost.
We’d almost lost each other again.
I had to take a deep breath in order to stymie the tears that rose to my eyes. I had to look away first, though I wanted to swim into his arms and never look away again. But doing that would threaten his position here. It would make the others suspicious. I had to remain conscious of the long game. Of the fact that I wanted him by my side for decades to come. Which meant I had to wait just a bit longer. I gathered my emotions up in a tight ball and tied them off.
My gaze scanned the others as I swam closer, and landed on Keelan, who had those around him laughing. Of course he did. He wasn’t the type of man who looked death in the face and shuddered. He’d been a soldier. He looked death in the face and mocked her directly.
“Why did they shift to have just shark tails? The teeth would have been intimidating. They shifted the wrong half.” Keelan clucked in pity before his smile and dimples reappeared. “And I thought today was going to be another boring day of travel.”
“Got your excitement, did you?” Radford grumbled, the redhead shaking his head as he rounded the side of the now-calm whale and joined the knot of others gathered near Sahar’s son.
“Well, it’s better than another round of Crown and Anchor with you,” Keelan retorted jovially.
“You just didn’t like losing—”
“Well, can’t deny that!”
The two of them chuckled.
I turned my attention from the pair, who were clearly not traumatized, and searched the crowd for those who were as I swam closer. It was the women who shook and the men who were white and silent that I needed to address the most. Not the soldiers and whale tamers who loved adrenaline so much that they’d chosen careers that gave them that heady rush.
Sahar reached me before I got close enough to speak. She kicked out, feet rapidly paddling, crow’s feet near her eyes prominent as she squinted in worry. When she reached me, she took my arm. “Your Majesty, are you alright? I know you took quite a hit to the head,” she spoke loudly. Too loudly. She was covering for me. Creating the story that others needed to hear. An explanation for why I hadn’t blasted the bastards back and saved the day. Why I hadn’t been the queen they all expected.
I nodded, gratitude filling my eyes, if not my entire expression. I didn’t deserve her help. Perhaps I didn’t even deserve this crown I’d so carelessly donned. Mother—Gela—hadn’t had magic in Evaness, but she’d surrounded herself with the most magical men the nation had possessed in order to protect it. Was that what I needed to do? Sort through these men and find those like Humberto, who could fight where I could not?
What about after I shed this stupid heart?
Lizza had mentioned she might have spells to help me fight against the cold cruelty that had overtaken my birth mother. But it had never been attempted, never tried. If I’d mentioned it to the self-proclaimed scientist, Julian, he probably would have mocked me for hoping it would work. He didn’t believe in chance. He believed in study.
Thoughts smacked me like a child was throwing blocks at my head.Clunk. Clunk. Clunk.One after the other. None of them felt particularly right. I had no idea what path I should take. I knew what Mayi had become, but in the face of attacks like those we just faced, what choice did I have but to become the same? To accept that the undead mage might be wrong and I might have to take up this yoke, become a beast?
Sahar grabbed my elbow, her face reprimanding, as if she knew my thoughts. Her nostrils flared, like she was warning me. But suddenly, she completely morphed. Her smile became bright as she called out, “Oh, and the hero of the hour!” She gestured behind me before beginning to clap.
I turned.
Humberto was shrinking, no longer larger than the whale. For the first time, I realized that growing so large meant he was nowverynaked, clothing ripped by his expansion magic.Eep.I worked hard to keep my eyes firmly on the stripes of his neck, trying not to let the corners of my vision focus on any dangly bits. The quite intimidating, driftwood-tree-trunk-sized dangling bits. Quite rapidly, he shrank enough for me to look him in the face. He was still roughly the size of an apple tree but contracted a bit more every second.
“Three cheers for Humberto!” Sahar cried out.
Joyous shouts erupted behind us as Humberto dwindled to the size of the huts in the villages that dotted Evaness. I glanced back to see that every single person on the back of the whale had stood in order to applaud him. We all owed him. Myself especially.
My eyes quickly scanned the whale’s back. All that remained of the tent were two sorry poles strapped to the creature’s sides, sticking out like broken bones. All the seats, however, were still strapped in place. I looked over the rows for empty seats or missing silhouettes. Had we lost anyone? Had anyone been seriously hurt? It was impossible for me to tell at a glance, but none of the faces I saw were devastated. If no one was missing anyone else, it appeared our injuries were minor.
Sarding hell, thank goodness for that small mercy.
I turned back to Humberto, who was blushing underneath the weight of all that praise.
A sense of awed appreciation ran through me, a sad gratitude. The people had expected so much of me. And I’d failed them. I’d expected so little of him. I scolded myself for that.Look what magic lies beneath a rather ordinary exterior. Look what bravery can be found in a fisherman’s heart.
