“No, wait. I actually have the perfect solution!” David grabs both our hands and takes a step backward, tugging lightly. “A friend brought some awesome Halloween shit from Amazon. Ouija board. Spell kit. It’s epic. Come play. I bet we’ve got a love potion in there.”
Stacy giggles. “No way! Who wasted money on that?”
“Wasted? It’s good, clean, demonic fun.Wasted,pshh,” he scoffs, pulling us closer to the sweeping branches. He adopts a spooky voice. “Come on. Unless you’re…scared.” He tosses his head back and gives a damn good impression of Vincent Price, the dude who did the monster laugh on Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” Yes, I know. You can thank decathlon trivia for that tidbit of knowledge.
Stacy giggles and turns to me, excitement lighting up her pretty face. “Come on. It’ll be fun, Kat.”
It’s this or Candyland.
I sigh and agree to stay a few more minutes.
“Yes!” David drops our hands and pulls back the branches of the willow as if he’s opening a curtain. “Welcome, ladies, to the pit of corruption.”
We walk under the canopy and find a couple other students sitting near the tree with a Ouija board, eyes focused on the board as they giggle and spell out “S-E-X.” I have no idea what their question was, but I’m pretty sure I can see the sophomore who’s controlling the board and spelling out answers. I predict the next spirit they contact will be spelling out “D-I-C-K.”
David sits down with an oomph next to a junior guy and then pulls Stacy onto his lap. “Alright, man, hook us up,” David tells the dude, who’s flipping through a book with a pentagram on the front.
“What do you want?” the guy asks, lowering the book so I can see his black tortoiseshell glasses and thin nose.
“We want a love spell!” Stacy claps her hands together rapidly, almost bouncing out of David’s lap.
“Really?” Tortoiseshell glasses raises a dark brow.
“It’s for me,” I say flatly, taking a seat directly in front of him. I don’t get why he cares, it’s not like this shit will work anyway. What does it matter if he pretends to cast it on Stacy and David?
Glasses guy looks me up and down in a judgey sort of way that I don’t appreciate. I start to get a bit self-conscious. I check my low-cut black tank but don’t see anything wrong. I try to subtly check my hair, but there’s no grass or anything in it.
“Are you gonna do the spell?” I ask before I get so paranoid, I have Stacy check my teeth for food.
“I need you to spit on the ground, right here,” he says, pointing at a patch of dirt.
Really? That’s so lame. We aren’t gonna hold hands and chant shit?
“Right here,” he repeats.
“Come on, Kat, it’ll be silly,” Stacy pleads.
I spit, only so her pig-headedness doesn’t kick in. Then I watch as the guy references the book for a moment before he uses his finger to draw a pentagram around my spit.
Original. Hope this book didn’t cost more than five bucks.
“Now a hair,” the faux-wizard commands.
“What? Really? Don’t these Amazon kits come with spell ingredients? You know, rose petals or something for love spells?”
“No.” The wizard adjusts his glasses, and I get a total Harry Potter vibe for a second. It’s quickly gone when he frowns at me—he’s got a very Slytherin-y frown—and says, “Are you gonna do this or not?”
I scrunch my nose. “That seems like a rip—”
Stacy leans forward and rips a couple strands of hair off my head, and I yelp, casting her a scathing glare.
Wizard guy gestures toward the pentagram, and she tosses my poor mutilated hair onto the little star. Then he haltingly reads some old English from the book, making me grind my teeth and just stop short of reaching out and reading the spell aloud myself.
“Ye olde forces of the dark
Arise from the depths and cast thou a spark
Bring with thee the flames of the heart