Page 103 of Demon Kissed
“But you would’ve,” Raz counters on a growl, “before you got to know her. You would’ve killed her just so we wouldn’t be vulnerable.”
Van doesn’t refute Raz’s claim, though his eyes do narrow into thin slits as he glares at his murder’s leader.
“Katrina, please.” Zolroth takes a step closer to me, his hand extended…the hand currently covered in Kastros’s blood. “You have to understand—”
“It’s my fault, isn’t it?” I whisper numbly, wrenching my gaze away from Zolroth’s and focusing on Kastros’s still form. The only reassurance I have that he’s still alive is the steady rise and fall of his chest. I have no doubt that he’ll survive…this time. But what about the next angel attack? Or the time after that? How many more of these can they survive?
I’m their Center.
I can’t even begin to wrap my head around the implications of that. Was I made specifically for them? Is that why I felt such a strong pull from the very first moment we met?
Hurt that they kept their suspicions from me, confusion over what exactly this means, and agony over what being their Center entails war within me. But one thing hasn’t changed with Raz’s dogmatic announcement—I refuse to be their downfall.
I refuse to make them vulnerable.
The knowledge of what I have to do sits on my chest like a three-hundred-pound weight. It doesn’t quite break my rib cage, but instead, makes breathing uncomfortable. Whenever I draw in a shaky breath, I’m unable to inhale or exhale.
“I need to leave,” I continue. “I need to leave and take Adam with me. You guys need to go too.”
“Kitty Kat!” Akor says immediately, but when he takes a step closer, I take an automatic one backwards.
“No, Akor. No.” Tears burn my retinas as I force myself to say what needs to be said. “Almost all of you have gotten hurt because of me. I make you vulnerable.” I lift my head to meet Zolroth’s piercing brown gaze. “You said it yourself that you wanted to kill your Center. In the kitchen after you were attacked. I heard you.”
It almost appears as if there are tears in his eyes as well. “That was before I knew you. Before I’ve come to—”
“I think I’m in love with you guys,” I blurt out, instantly wishing I could scoop the words up and shove them back into my mouth. But I can’t. Instead, they hover in the air like a poisonous gas as all of the guys blink at me rapidly, dozens and dozens of emotions emanating from their gazes.
“Katrina, please,” Raz begs, but I speak before he can continue.
“I’m going to grab Adam, and we’re going to find a hotel to stay at.” I bite my lip against the pain splintering me, cleaving me in two. Fuck, why does this have to hurt so much? I know it’s for the best, I know it’s our only option, but it feels as if my body has been set on fire. “You guys fulfilled your end of the summons. You can leave now.”
And I’ll remain here.
Without them.
“Katrina, listen,” Van begins, but I’m already heading towards the spare room which has become Adam’s unofficial bedroom. When he places a hand on my arm, I jerk back, turning to face him as the tears finally run free.
“No, Van! Just no! I refuse to be the reason that you guys get hurt. Or worse, killed! Iabsolutely fucking refuse.”
None of the demons protest when I rouse a sleepy Adam up and force him into the back of Zolroth’s fancy sports car. I don’t even bother to ask if I can take it; it’s the only car in the vicinity, and I need to get away as fast as I can.
“Katrina,” Raz growls. “Don’t do this.”
“I’m not doing anything, Raz,” I whisper tiredly as I slide into the driver’s seat. Normally, I would’ve “oohed” and “awed” over this beautiful baby, but I can’t muster the will to even smile. There’s nothing remotely smile-worthy about today. “That’s the point.”
And then I back out of the driveway with my heart in my throat and tears burning my eyes.
This is for the best, Katrina,I tell myself firmly.
So why does it fucking hurt so much?
36
RAZ
Did she really think she could leave? Leaveme?
Hell fucking no.
