Page 43 of Delinquents Turned Fugitives
Zero.
None.
Unless I could bring Matthew back.
* * *
I was stillin a pained daze when we got back to the farmhouse. Each of the guys pulled me in for a hug, but I was so numb I hardly felt them. I tried to pull up the drive and determination that had fueled me for so many years, but I couldn't. I just felt... empty.
I made my way up to my room and curled up on top of the mattress, staring at the wall until eventually sleep overtook me.
A hand on my shoulder jerked me awake. I'd been dreaming about running through the forest, searching for Matthew, like he'd gotten lost on a hike or something. My heart cramped inside my chest, like it had been running too.
I scrubbed a hand across my swollen eyelids. Moonlight drifted in from my window. I'd slept the day away. I turned to face whoever had woken me up and was surprised as hell to see Andros looming awkwardly over my bed, his face painted in shadow. His dark blond hair was slicked back and to the side. His strong brow was furrowed and he ran a hand across his square jaw, drawing my eyes to his tattoos.
"You've been asleep for ten hours. And we were worried."
I stared up at him, not quite processing.
He rubbed his lips together awkwardly, like he was trying to find the right thing to say. Only, there was no right thing to say.
Part of me wanted to ask why he was the one in here. Of all the guys, I had kind of expected Evan. But, then, Evan would only make me cry harder, because seeing him would bring up all kinds of memories. Maybe he knew that.
Eventually, Andros decided words were useless, and held up a bottle of whiskey, the liquid glowing amber in the dim light of the moon. "Thought maybe we could drink this."
I shoved up on the bed and leaned against the headboard, before scooting over and letting him join me. When he sat down on the bed and swung his legs up, he created such a divot in the mattress that I couldn't help but slide toward him. His bicep was the size of my face.
It made me laugh. "You're so huge."
He shrugged. "I was 'Born This Way.'"
I tilted my head and stared up at the big, brutal-looking gangster. "Did you just quote Lady Gaga?"
He shrugged and yanked the top off the whiskey. "Here. Drink."
I took a sip, and the roof of my mouth and entire esophagus lit up like they were on fire. "Shit."
"Yeah. Sorry. It's the cheap stuff. That's all they had here. But it’ll get the job done."
I handed it over and while he took a drink, I fought to embrace the upcoming buzz and avoid the despair that wanted to knock me over. I stared at the crown molding across the room, noting the flecks in the paint.
"My mom died when I was eleven," Andros divulged, out of the blue.
My head jerked sideways and I stared up at him. His face remained as stoic as a statue, but there was a catch in his voice when he said, "Sucks."
I grabbed the bottle from his hands and took another swig. "Yeah." For a few minutes, we just passed the bottle back and forth, me taking smaller and smaller sips as tipsiness overtook me. The dizzy, light-headed feeling made me feel like I was floating.
“What was she like?” I eventually asked.
“Mom? She was … kind of like Z. Life of the party. Always joking. Used to chase me through the school yard and threaten tickles.” He laughed and his face softened with fond memories. It was the most handsome I’d ever seen him, his blue eyes lit up and his lips curved in a soft smile. “I used to hate that.”
I settled back against the headboard and let myself remember Mom … before. “My mom was the caretaker. Good cook. Worked part-time at our elementary school to keep an eye on us. Family was everything to her.” I blew out a breath. Damn, even that had been painful. “Gimme the bottle.” I took a healthy swig and let the alcohol burn my throat as it slid down. I focused on my gasp and the way my fists clenched, instead of the rabid animal inside of me trying to escape, trying to claw its way out through my skin. I couldn’t focus on the pain or it would overwhelm me.
I leaned back against the headboard and clutched the sheets for a minute, fighting off the emotions.
"I lived with our grandma," Andros revealed randomly.
"Your and Z's grandma?" I asked, latching onto the distraction.
