Page 44 of Magical Academy for Delinquents
"No, because I would have been forced to step in to—"
"I can handle myself,” I interjected, a bit offended that he’d try to play knight.
"But dirty friends always defend one another to the death." Zavier made a ‘duh’ face at me.
"I thought dirty friends were only hit it and quit it friends."
"Well,yeah, until one's facing death. Then it's until death do you part. That's dirty friend code. You break it, you’ll never find a dirty friend again. Word will spread and your dirty rep will be ruined forever. You’ll have to have—ew—real relationships."
His face was the most serious I've ever seen it. His jaw was tight, his eyes focused. He was trying so hard to repress the laugh bubbling inside of him.
"I'm gonna need to see the dirty code. I didn't realize the rules were so extensive." I tried to imitate his face, but I couldn't hold it. I started to giggle.
"Your laugh makes me want to tickle you until you scream,” he said.
"Your face makes me want to scream."
"As long as you're screaming my name, I'm happy."
"I don't think your dick's been less than 'happy' a day in your life."
"He was unhappy the day you denied his claim."
"His what?"
"Dick claim. When your dick points at something, it's claiming it."
"What if your dick points at a machete?"
"My dick wouldneverdo that." Then he crouched forward like a little old man with a fork for a cane. "Didn't anyone teach you about dicks young lady? They have a sense of self-preservation."
God, this guy was so preposterous. His mind was like a unicycle, entertaining to watch and at the same time, it just left me asking 'why?' I had to cover my eyes for a moment because even though I was mentally recording this moment for future playback, I just couldn't believe what I'd heard.
"Okay, new topic," I announced, searching for something to ask about. Zavier's ankle monitor blinked blue and I stared at it. "How'd you get that?" I asked.
Zavier straightened and sighed. "It's a long story that involves my ass of a cousin."
We reached the door of my dorm building and I swiped my wand over the scanner to unlock it. Zavier held it open for me.
As I ducked under his arm and we entered the girls' lounge on the first floor, I said, "Well, we'll be in my room, alone, on my bed ... what better to do than have pillow talk?"
He gritted his teeth together and stared up at the foam tile ceiling in the front hallway. "Why must you torture me?"
"You started it," I point out. "If you hadn't hit on me so hard—"
"I was trying to hit you hard enough to turn your head—"
"You mean toget head."
Zavier stepped inside and let the front door slam shut behind him. "You're the best flirty friend I've ever had," he said softly.
I couldn't see his face at all, my eyes were adjusting to the dim interior. But I felt sure he was joking. Zavier was always joking. I tossed my hair and said, "I'm wonderful, it’s true. But I'm sure you say that to every flirty friend." I started up the staircase toward my room.
"Okay, fine," he hurried after me. "I might say it, but I don't mean it."
"Are you ever serious?"
"Yes."
